The Misfit
by lightbird
Summary: Early discovery version of the first Disney story line. Continues beyond the events of the first movie. Lots of fluff and cuteness. [COMPLETE]
1. Part 1: Beginnings, Captain

Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Disney except Kai-Feng, Wang Zhao and Li Chen. Any part of the story line and dialogue taken from the Disney movie also belongs to Disney.

Summary: My very first fanfic. This is my own version of the first Disney movie story line with an early discovery theme. Characters have changed in this story.

**xxxxxxx**

**THE MISFIT by lightbird**

**Part 1: Beginnings**

**Chapter 1: Captain**

Li Shang sat in the main tent across from his father. They had just received the Imperial orders two days before. The main troops were going to move to the mountains in the north, to protect the capital and head off the Huns that had crossed the northern border. That meant that his father and the other experienced soldiers would be leaving for the front. Reserves had been called up and there were new recruits to be trained. His father had called him into the main tent to discuss strategy with him. Chi Fu, the Emperor's council who had been sent there, was sitting in the tent with them. He made a remark flattering the general's strategy. General Li spoke to Shang, ignoring Chi Fu's comment.

"You will stay here and train the new recruits. When Chi Fu believes you are ready, you will join us...Captain." General Li handed a newly forged sword to Shang.

Shang took the sword, stunned. "Captain?"

Chi Fu began to protest that the job should go to someone with more experience, but General Li cut him off.

"Number one in his class, extensive knowledge of training techniques, an impressive military lineage. I believe Li Shang will do an excellent job."

Shang spoke up, beside himself with excitement. "Oh, I will. I won't let you down. This is…I-I mean..." he caught himself and bowed, continuing somberly. "Yes, sir."

General Li got up and started walking out of the tent. "Very good then. We'll toast China's victory at the Imperial City." He turned to Chi Fu. "I'll expect a report in six weeks."

Chi Fu turned to Shang and said, nastily, "And I won't leave anything out." He exited the tent behind the general.

Shang couldn't believe it. Captain! He was beside himself. He had been dreaming of the glory and honor of battle ever since he was a boy. He wanted to be at the front, fighting alongside his father. But a captain! There were very few men who achieved such a high rank at such a young age. It wasn't that long ago that he had finished completing his studies at the academy and he had just turned eighteen a few months before. It was a great honor to be given such a rank and the responsibility of training the troops; he hoped to prove himself to his father and show him that he could train the new recruits well. He would be leader of the finest troops in China. The finest troops ever.

Shang snapped out of his daydream as he stepped out of the tent and caught sight of the future finest troops that were his recruits. They were dirty and undisciplined and they were in the middle of a huge, camp-wide fight. They were literally punching each other out, and pretty much every recruit in the camp was involved. The kettle of rice had been knocked over and there was rice everywhere on the ground. Shang just stared at them, open-mouthed. At that moment, a badly beaten guy walked up to them, saluted them, then fell to the ground unconscious. Shang gaped at him, dumbfounded, then looked at his father, who was looking on, amused.

"Most impressive," Chi Fu sneered.

General Li stepped over the fallen man and mounted his horse. Shang gaped at his father at a loss, indicating the fallen man. But his father was leaving him on his own, he realized, somewhat angrily.

"Good luck, Captain!" his father called out.

His father rode off leading the Imperial Army's elite troops.

"Good luck…father," Shang murmured quietly to himself.

Shang looked at his recruits again and sighed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Chi Fu looking at him and turned to him.

"Day one," Chi Fu remarked snidely.

Shang frowned at him, then turned back to the sight of the recruits. Then he took a deep breath, set his jaw and moved toward the brawling mob, calling out to them for order. They all snapped to attention and pointed at a very small, very young boy. The boy was dark-skinned and his face looked streaked. Except for the uniform, he looked like a dirty little street urchin.

"He started it!" they all said at once.

The boy was laying on the ground, curled in a fetal position. He saw Shang approaching and stood up, brushing himself off. He was at least a foot shorter than Shang and his figure was so slight, so tiny, Shang wondered if he was even thirteen years old yet.

"Listen," Shang said, sternly, getting in the boy's face, "I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!"

"Sorry," he answered, in a high-pitched, almost feminine, little voice. "Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that," the boy continued in a forced lower-pitched voice. Shang folded his arms. The boy punched Shang on the arm with his fist and began muttering some bizarre remarks about manly urges.

"What's your name?" Shang demanded.

The boy stammered, apparently unable to remember his own name. "I've got a name, and it's a boy's name, too," he muttered.

What kind of an idiotic answer was that? Shang tapped his foot, impatiently.

"His name is Ling," the boy muttered.

"I didn't ask for _his_ name. I asked for yours," Shang retorted, annoyed.

"Ah Chu."

"Ah Chu?" Shang repeated.

"Mushu!" the boy muttered again.

"Mushu?"

"No."

"Then what is it!" Shang practically shouted, ready to grab the crazy kid by the neck and throttle him.

"It's Ping."

"Ping?" Shang raised his eyebrow, not sure whether to believe him.

The boy reached back and was now fiddling nervously with his kerchief. "Yes, my name is Ping."

"Let me see your conscription notice."

The boy took it from his waist band and handed it to him.

"Fa Zhou. _The_ Fa Zhou?" Shang exclaimed after he'd read it.

"I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son," Chi Fu piped in.

Shang couldn't believe it. The boy was the son of one of the most famous and honored warriors in China.

"Uh, he doesn't talk about me much," the boy offered weakly. He went to spit on the ground, but the spit didn't hit the ground, it just ran from his mouth.

The other recruits laughed. Shang just stared at him, wincing inwardly, and raised his eyebrow again.

"I can see why," Chi Fu said to him softly. "The boy's an absolute lunatic."

Shang stared at the boy for another moment, then he handed Chi Fu the boy's conscription notice and began to walk around him to address the other soldiers.

"Okay gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And tomorrow, the real work begins," Shang told them, sternly.

The next morning, Shang woke up very early, as he always did, and began his morning routine. He went to the lake to bathe, then returned to camp to get breakfast. He glanced around. The soldiers were lounging around, having breakfast, chatting. They looked even worse than they had the day before. There was one soldier that was conspicuously absent – it was that crazy little misfit soldier Fa Ping. Shang took his breakfast in his tent. He ate, then took some time to meditate, preparing himself for the first day of training.

He heard the troops outside, some joking and some bickering. He heard Chi Fu trying to call them to order, but they just retorted with jokes, mocking him. Shang sighed. His first chance to train a group of recruits, and this was what he had to work with.

A loud voice broke through the chatter of the men outside.

"Hey, look's like our new friend slept in this morning. Hellooo Ping, Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich." The second voice was gruff, like a growl.

At that, Shang stood up and headed out of the tent, to head off another brawl before it started. The other men had gathered around Ping and were voicing their agreement, some of them slamming their fists into their palms, getting ready to fight. Ping was covering his face with his hands.

"Soldiers!" Shang called out, loudly. The men shuffled into line and stood at attention. Shang liked the fact that at the sound of his call, at his voice, they did his bidding. It was such a feeling of power and he enjoyed every minute of it. He walked confidently over to the weapons, removing his shirt and hanging it over them, then grabbed a bow and a quiver of arrows in preparation for their first training exercise. "You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning." He strutted down the line of soldiers, authoritatively. "Anyone who acts otherwise will answer to me."

The gruff voiced recruit, who Shang now identified as Yao, made a snide remark, loud enough for Shang to hear. Shang knocked an arrow on the bow and pointed it towards Yao. "Yao." The other recruits took a step back leaving Yao one step forward. Shang pointed the arrow skyward and shot it into the top of a high pole in the middle of camp. "Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow."

Yao bowed to Shang and muttered another remark. All Shang heard was 'pretty boy'. Yao went and prepared to leap onto the pole.

"One moment, you seem to be missing something," Shang said, gesturing for Chi Fu to approach with the wooden box of bronze weights. Shang took one of the disks from the box and held it high, speaking to all of the men now. "This represents discipline." Shang put the weight on one of Yao's arms and the weight fell to the ground taking Yao's arm with it. "And this represents strength." Shang put the other weight on Yao's other arm, making him fall to the ground. The troops laughed. "You need both to reach the arrow," Shang continued, sternly, ignoring their laughter.

Yao climbed up the pole a little bit, then slipped down under the weight. The other soldiers took their turn, all of them falling down without getting very far off the ground. Shang sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, frustrated.

"We've got a long way to go."

Things were even worse than Shang ever expected. He was cursed with a group of undisciplined recruits who were unkempt, disorganized, out of shape and disobedient. And the worst curse put upon him was that pathetic little Fa Ping. Shang could not believe that a great warrior like Fa Zhou could have a son that was so worthless in the army. Shang was exceptionally hard on Ping and actually bullied him. On the one hand he knew it wasn't right to do that, but on the other hand he felt justified.

Ping drove Shang into fits at every turn. He was truly a weak and useless recruit, almost feminine, and Shang was painfully annoyed at his very presence in the camp. Even if he did manage to whip the others into shape eventually, he would never join his father in battle with Ping there. The boy couldn't do anything right. He was never even on time; every morning he was the last one to assemble. When Shang tried to teach the recruits bare handed fishing, Ping always grabbed someone's foot instead of a fish. It was the same with everything else Ping attempted. In addition, Shang caught him cheating! Shang took the recruits for their first archery training. He stepped on a lever throwing up three targets that he hit with three arrows from one bow, to show them what they were supposed to do eventually. The recruits tried with just one arrow and failed. Then he saw Fa Ping with a knocked arrow on his bow, with a target already placed on the arrow! Shang stalked over and leaned into his face with a disdainful, angry look. Ping cracked a huge grin at him. Shang just gave him a look of disgust and muttered, "Dishonorable" under his breath.

Ping was a little better in martial arts practice. He actually had good form. Maybe his father had taught him some moves, just as Shang's own father had done with him when he was very young. But Ping wasn't much better at that, and Shang would defeat him fairly quickly anyway, leaving him with a black eye on one particular day.

The other recruits weren't much better. They failed at everything, and it didn't look like they'd ever improve. There were the three other misfits, Yao, Ling and Chien-Po, who were worse than the others. The three of them were friends and Shang saw that they played mean tricks on Ping. One night in cannon practice he watched Ping light his cannon. He saw Ling kick the support out from under Ping's cannon. Ping managed to grab the cannon, but it was tilted back the wrong way now and the cannon shot backward, blowing up Chi Fu's tent. Shang got an earful from Chi Fu later that night, providing him with yet another reason to resent Ping. He knew it wasn't really Ping's fault; it was Ling's. But if Ping hadn't been there causing trouble in the first place, Ling wouldn't have anyone to pick on, Shang reasoned, and it wouldn't have happened.

Ping really did try. Shang noticed how smart he was. He seemed eager to learn and eager to please, and he didn't make snide remarks when Shang instructed him. Many of the others did. And Shang noticed how Ping was disappointed at his failure and took it very hard. But there was something wrong with him. Or maybe he was just too young. He did not fit in well with the other soldiers at all. Whereas many of them had become friends as well as comrades in the first week or so, Ping was friends with nobody. The men picked on him and tormented him cruelly. Ping just tolerated it and never retaliated, though. Shang felt a little bit sorry for him, but there was no place for that in the army, and Shang had enough grief caused by Ping to last a lifetime. He had to be exceptionally tough on Ping, and let the others be tough on him as well. He would either beat the weakness and femininity out of him, make a man out of the boy; or he would force him to quit and go home.

One evening after sunset, Shang was sitting on top of the hill overlooking camp, brooding, looking down toward the camp, completely displeased and frustrated. They had already been training for two weeks, and the recruits weren't looking any better. He kept thinking about that day when his father had handed him the sword and made him a captain. He'd been so excited, naïve actually, and he'd forgotten that his father had said it wouldn't be easy the first time. And it wasn't. As much as he'd liked the power that had come with the rank, he was realizing now that it came with a lot of responsibility. He had all of these quirky men to deal with; and one really smart but bizarre young boy who couldn't cut it. Shang felt very discouraged and wondered if he was really up to the task after all. He'd always been confident in his abilities as a soldier; but he was beginning to wonder if maybe he was too young and inexperienced for an officer's title, just like Chi Fu had said. Chi Fu. That man was no help whatsoever. He was a sniveling, petty bureaucrat and he was just looking to give Shang a hard time and put him down.

Not that Shang wasn't used to responsibility. He'd been thrust with responsibilities for several years now. His mother had died when he was thirteen and his father had always been busy with his responsibilities as general, so Shang had been taking care of his eight-year-old brother Chen ever since his mother's death, as well as taking care of many things that his father couldn't get to due to his responsibilities as general. Now that Shang had joined his father in the army, Chen was at home, being taken care of by their grandfather who lived with them.

Shang wanted very much to please his father. He had always looked up to him and his father had always had great expectations for him. He was the eldest son and a lot was expected of him. Sometimes he was extremely hard on Shang. Too much so, Shang felt. But deep in his heart Shang knew his father loved him and only wanted the best for him. Shang had always had a passionate interest in the martial arts, in the military and everything related to the military. His father had nurtured that passion and interest and had pushed him to be the best he could be. He was tough on Shang, but he had always encouraged him as well. He had taught him to value honor and duty. His father was the Emperor's most trusted advisor. He was honorable and brave and Shang wanted to be like him. If he could. Maybe he needed to be more encouraging of his men, as well as being hard on them. He realized that right now he was just being hard on them and putting them down, treating them like they were hopeless. Maybe if he followed his own father's example with his son, it would yield better results, help them find the strength in themselves to improve.

Shang was drawn out of his contemplation by the sound of someone talking in the forest behind him. He stood up and walked toward the sound. He found Ping sitting alone, talking to himself. There was a hopeless case. Shang shook his head and rolled his eyes skyward, convinced now that the boy truly was a lunatic.


	2. The Odd Soldier

**Chapter 2: The Odd Soldier**

Mulan was having difficulty getting comfortable. As tired as she was from the hard day of training, she could not get to sleep. She was in great pain, in body, mind and soul. Every muscle in her body was sore, including several that she was never aware that she had. She was also frustrated, discouraged and disappointed in herself. It had been two weeks already but she was doing very badly in the training and just could not do anything right.

Not that anyone else in the camp was doing much better. They were all pretty pathetic and they drove Captain Li to the edge of his sanity with their failures and their idiotic brawls that turned into camp-wide mayhem. She didn't really know anything about Captain Li, other than he was extremely stern and serious, rather somber actually, and he had just been promoted to captain by his father, the general, at the same time as they were all recruited. Training them was his very first assignment; and what a disappointing first assignment they were for the poor guy. But she knew she was the absolute worst and she knew she drove Captain Li to fits.

He really did bully her a little too much though, and it wasn't always her fault. Mushu got her into a lot of trouble. He was the one who stuck the target on her arrow in archery training because he wanted to help her; but it just looked to the captain as if she was cheating. It was Mushu who had caused the fight between her and Yao that first day at camp, which erupted into a full-scale, all-camp brawl and caused everyone in the camp to hate her. In fact, most of the trouble she got into was caused either by Mushu or by Yao and his buddy Ling playing mean tricks on her, like knocking over the support for her cannon in practice so that she blew up Chi Fu's tent. The pranks that Yao and Ling played were immature and annoying and got her into trouble, but at least they weren't cruel. The other men bullied her and tormented her. They would trip her when she walked by them. They were always trying to egg her on so they could fight with her. She wasn't as strong as them, so she wouldn't dare get involved in fighting physically with them. The only thing she could do was bear their behavior silently, try to deflect their provocation and do everything in her power not to cry in front of them.

She knew that she didn't belong in the army, among all of these rough men. She was especially aware of how out of place she was when they would brag about what they did with women, or when they cursed profusely. She was very lonely in the camp and she missed her family terribly.

She thought about how heartbroken and disappointed they probably were that she'd gone and done this, and it wrenched at her heart. Chances were she would never make it back home. Everyday she ran the risk of being discovered and executed for treason. If she wasn't discovered and by some miracle made it to the battlefield she could very well be killed there. And if she did somehow survive and make it home, it was possible that her family wouldn't even accept her back after this; maybe they were even more disgraced by her now. But she had no doubt, not even for a moment, that she had done the right thing. It had been the only way, in a no-win situation where either choice was bad. At least she could move easily and had a chance of surviving, of running for safety if necessary. If her father had come, it would have been a disaster. He was an experienced, seasoned soldier and would have been sent right off to the battle, where he would have been killed for sure. Or, due to his wound and inability to walk well, he would have been sent home immediately, dishonored and embarrassed. This was the least she could do; maybe it would make up for the fact that she had been a disappointment as a daughter. Even if she had to be the one to die.

She had left home under such bad circumstances. She'd had a terrible fight with her father at dinner that last night at home. Earlier that same day she'd had a disastrous session with the matchmaker, who told her that she would never bring her family honor. The fiasco wasn't entirely her fault. It was that damned cricket that Grandma had given her for luck. The so-called 'lucky' cricket had escaped from the cage, jumping all over the matchmaker, swimming in the tea, jumping down her dress. That was what caused all the problems there and led to the matchmaker catching on fire. She had fallen over onto the fire because she wouldn't let Mulan take the cup of tea back to remove the cricket.

That same day after she returned home the Imperial soldiers came to deliver the conscription notices and she tried to stop them from summoning her father, due to his wound from his previous service to the Emperor. That skinny toad Chi Fu put her down and then her father told her she dishonored him. And then at dinner afterward – the argument with her father, his harsh words to her. It had been a terrible last day with her family and the thought of that only served to deepen her sadness. And then she'd gone and snuck off in the middle of the night, taking her father's conscription notice and leaving her comb with the magnolia flower on the side table in its place. What had he thought when he found out? Probably that she really had gone nuts that night. She knew she had.

Dishonor. That seemed to be the theme of her life. Even the captain had muttered it the day Mushu stuck the target on her arrow. He'd said it under his breath, but she'd heard it. She hardly knew him and she shouldn't have cared what he thought of her – or Ping – but the thought that he had a low opinion of her bothered her. All her life she had tried to please people. Particularly men; and he was a man in authority. As much as she didn't want it to matter to her, it did. She felt devastated when Captain Li's angry and disdainful looks were directed toward her, which was pretty much all the time.

At least her horse Khan was there. Her father had given him to her when he was a pony and she was just eight years old. He was her best friend. Every night, no matter how tired she was after the training, she made sure she spent time with Khan, caring for him and talking to him. He couldn't answer her when she lamented to him but he seemed to understand and always nuzzled her to let her know he was there and her friend. Despite the troubles he caused, it was good to have Mushu there as a friend and companion also. The little dragon hardly seemed like an all-powerful guardian; but he gave her comfort in a place where she had no human being who was a friend, no one to even talk to. Even with Khan and Mushu's presence there, she still cried herself to sleep most nights – when she was able to sleep. She cried silently, stifling every sob that threatened to become audible. She prayed to the ancestors every night, thanking them for sending Mushu but asking them to still help her through this ordeal and to keep her family safe and well.

Some nights, like tonight, when she couldn't sleep at all in the middle of the night she walked down to the lake, which was in the forest up on the hill, at the far end of the training field where they had cannon practice. It was far enough away from the camp that she could let the tears fall freely if they came and not worry if a sob escaped. She also used those times to bathe quickly without being seen.

She finally decided that it was no use even trying to sleep tonight and stood up, stepping out of her tent. She left Mushu sleeping there and walked down to the lake. It was the middle of the night. She decided to go for a swim tonight. No one would be there to see her now and maybe the water would ease the soreness of her muscles.

She walked around the diameter of the lake, to the side that was farthest from camp, just in case someone did happen to come down there. She slipped off her clothes and hung them on a tree branch, then stepped into the lake, wading out toward the middle of the lake and immersing her body in the cool water. It made her feel refreshed and lifted her spirits a little.

There was no turning back. She had made her choice and now she was locked into whatever path was before her resulting from that choice. She had to survive somehow, she had to persevere and succeed. She stayed in the lake for a very long time, not wanting to get out. Her muscles were soothed a little and somehow the feel of the cool water touching her skin took away the sting of the sadness and desperate loneliness she felt. She finally turned and reluctantly headed back toward the shore because her fingers were starting to prune. She waded back toward shallower water, then turned around for a moment to take one last calming look at the middle of the lake and the moonlight reflecting on the water. Then she got out of the lake and dressed, returning back to camp and to her tent.


	3. Dismissed

**Chapter 3: Dismissed**

The next morning, Mushu woke her up as always and scowled at her.

"You went into the water after I went to sleep, didn't you?"

"What? I…"

"Don't even try to lie to me. Your skin. It's lighter again. I have to put more of this stuff on you to darken your skin. We have to keep your feminine features hidden. Besides, it's going to look strange that Ping's skin suddenly got lighter." Mushu began to rub the strange oil into her face and hands and other exposed parts of her skin until she was as dark as she had been.

"Now hurry. You're already late, as usual. You're gonna get it from Captain Li again," he ordered. "She is going to ruin everything if she keeps this up," Mulan heard him mutter to himself as she exited the tent.

She sighed and hurried to assemble with the other soldiers. Captain Li didn't say a word but she could feel his customary glare fix on her. The day wouldn't be complete without at least one of those, she thought slightly bitterly. It was too bad, too. He had a very handsome face.

Mulan didn't go back down to the lake that night. She had to try to get some sleep. She had never been a morning person, which was part of the reason she was late every morning; but the other part of the reason she was late was that she had so much trouble sleeping. She would finally fall asleep when it was almost time to get up and wake up exhausted.

The next day they had a daylong hike in the mountains with weights on their shoulders. Mulan was exhausted after so many nights of crying herself to sleep and her shoulders were still weak and sore from the intense training that she'd been trying to keep up with, which made it hard for her to support the weight on them. She struggled and fell under the burden of her weight. Mushu tried to help her to get up, but she was completely spent. Mushu suddenly hid in her sleeve and she looked up as Captain Li approached her and stood over her, glaring down. Then he leaned over, picked up her weight and carried it along with his own weight, running to catch up with the troops and leaving her there. Mulan cringed at his look and groaned, disappointed in herself for failing yet another task.

**xxxxxxx**

Shang sat in his tent, thinking about Ping. They had gone on a day-long hike and the men had been starting to keep up. Except Ping. Once again, he couldn't keep up, even carrying a lightweight, and had fallen under his burden. How was he ever going to make a soldier, or a man for that matter, out of that? Shang decided that he had to send him home. He knew he might have to answer to Chi Fu for it, but it didn't matter. The boy did not belong there; and if they ever got to battle with him, he would probably be a hindrance and would actually endanger _their_ lives as well as his own.

That evening Shang confronted him. He picked up the reins of Khan, the boy's horse, and dropped them into his hands.

"I'm letting you go, Ping."

"Sir?"

"You're not suited for war or for the army. Go home."

He turned and went to his tent, relieved that in the morning Ping would be gone and he could get down to training the rest of the men and quickly join his father at the front.

**xxxxxxx**

Mulan was devastated that the captain was letting her go. How could she return home now?

She turned and began to lead Khan away, dejected. She glanced up at the arrow that Captain Li had shot into the top of the tall pole in the center of camp on the first day of training. No one had been able to get it yet. She began to head out of camp, then she stopped and looked up at the arrow again. Well, things couldn't get any worse. She might as well try one more time. She took the bronze discs and tied them around her wrists and tried to climb the pole, sinking right back to the ground under the weights. She tried several times as the night went on, resting in between tries, but to no avail. Finally, as the sun was beginning to rise she looked once more at the weights around her wrists and something suddenly clicked in her mind. Of course! All of them had been going about this completely wrong. She stood up and tossed the weights around the pole. Much to her satisfaction, the weights locked together around the pole. Using the locked weights as a support, she began to climb.

**xxxxxxx**

Early the next morning Shang woke to the sounds of cheering and mayhem in the camp. 'Now what?' he thought, groaning inwardly. He stepped out of his tent to see what all the commotion was about. A moment after he stepped out, the arrow came sailing down, sticking into the ground in front of his feet. He stared at it, then looked up to the top of the pole. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was Ping sitting at the top of the pole, the weights over his shoulder, an exhausted but triumphant grin spread across his dark face. Ping almost looked like he was smirking at him. Even from that distance Shang could see how tired he looked. But he had been the first to reach the arrow.

Shang walked over to the pole as Ping slid down. He looked thoroughly exhausted; he'd probably been working at it all night. The rest of the soldiers were still cheering excitedly for him.

Shang put his hand on Ping's shoulder. "Good job, Ping."

"Thank you, sir," Ping answered, breathlessly. "Does that mean I can stay?"

Shang felt his heart soften. He caught himself; he couldn't show any softness or favoritism toward any one recruit. It wouldn't be fair to the others. He spoke, proudly but sternly, using the same tone that his father used when he spoke to him. "Yes, Ping, you can stay, but I expect the same effort and dedication in every other aspect of the training. Otherwise you go home. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

**xxxxxxx**

After that morning that she reached the top of the pole and sent the arrow sailing down to Captain Li's feet things really turned around for Mulan. She started to succeed at everything. She realized that all she had to do was use her brilliant mind. She did become stronger. She discovered that she was naturally athletic and agile and she learned to use those qualities to their fullest advantage. Her aim in cannon practice got better and better. She was able to catch fish bare handed now. She became good with the staff. She even became capable of completing the hikes in the mountains, carrying the weight with ease and managing to become faster than anyone. And she excelled in Kung-Fu. In fact, in one sparring match with Captain Li she gave him a good swift kick in the jaw that knocked him to the ground, flat on his back. She looked down at him, pleased to see him on his back and to see that he was rubbing his jaw in pain as he sat up. She owed him that for the black eye he'd given her in a previous match.

Captain Li didn't glare at her anymore. He seemed to have gained respect for her; in fact, she actually noticed him watching her sometimes with an expression of pride. It reminded her of the way her father looked at her whenever he was proud of something she had done. She couldn't help but smile when the captain looked at her like that, with such warmth in his eyes. It warmed her inside when he looked like that. She had gotten to know many of his expressions. She had noted with particular glee the look of disbelief that had been on his face when he came out of his tent and saw her at the top of the pole; she had been waiting for him to step out just so she could hurl that arrow right at his feet. She felt smug and self-satisfied that she had proven him wrong about her.

He still had a stern and serious expression on his face most of the time, which made him seem very mature and much older than her. He almost never looked happy. But when he let his guard down and his face softened a little, she saw that he was actually younger than she thought, maybe only a couple of years older than her; and she sensed that underneath his stern façade there was actually a kind, gentle and understanding man. She looked at his handsome features closely whenever she was sure she wouldn't be seen looking. She was beginning to know even the subtlest expressions that flitted across his face.

She could not understand why such a young man, who seemed to have everything going for him, looked so somber all the time. One day she found out from the other soldiers that he was only eighteen and had graduated number one in his class, a year early in fact. He was already a captain, which was unusual for someone so young. The men scoffed that the only reason he was a captain was because his father was the general and gave him the rank. Mulan felt that maybe that was true, but she also believed that he deserved to be the captain even if it weren't for his father. To her he was an accomplished fighter and a good teacher and leader of the troops. He deserved his title. Of course, she never said anything. In fact, it was funny how as a 'man' in disguise in the army, she spoke her mind less than when she was a woman at home. It was just that she was afraid she would give herself away.

The other soldiers in the camp no longer bothered her. In fact they had started to respect her now, and the routine of the camp life was getting easier for her. She was still very sad, thinking about her family and home. But she was resigned to the life that she had now chosen for herself, and at least she was less lonely in the camp and finally doing something right.

**xxxxxxx**

Shang had noticed that after the morning Ping retrieved the arrow, he got much better as did the rest of the recruits. Ping's success at that seemed to have inspired the other recruits, and Ping seemed to have gained confidence in himself after accomplishing that first task. He really turned himself around. He got stronger and really bettered himself at everything. In fact, to Shang's great surprise, Ping was actually proving to be the best soldier in the camp. He felt proud of Ping, and he was pleased with himself for being able to turn someone like Ping, who seemed to be so unpromising at first, into a great soldier. Shang was beginning to think of him as a little friend, although he still thought he was a lunatic. One evening after they had finished training for the day Shang took a walk in the forest, once again coming across Ping talking to himself. When he took a second look he saw that Ping was actually talking to a tiny red stuffed lizard. Shang shook his head and sighed. Ping must have heard him because he whirled around listening for a minute, then scooped up the little lizard and put him in his pocket. Ping. Though he was now proving to be an excellent soldier and earning everyone's respect, including Shang's, he definitely had some problems. Maybe he was even younger than he had originally thought. Whatever it was, Shang knew he would have to keep an eye on him.

**xxxxxxx**

It was still dark out when Shang woke up on one particular night, about a month into the training. He had been sleeping fitfully all night, disturbed by dreams of his father. He couldn't remember the dreams. Only vague images remained with him now that he was awake and they left him feeling extremely unsettled. He lay awake for a long time, unable to fall back asleep. He finally decided to take a walk. He got up and threw on a robe then headed toward the forest at the edge of camp. There was a spot that he'd found when he had first arrived at Wu Zhong several months before and he had made it his spot. He went there when he needed to be alone and to think.

He reached the high, flat boulder on the side of the lake and climbed up. It was a perfect spot, peaceful, secluded and hidden, yet it was a good lookout point too. He could see the lake clearly, and the boulder was hidden behind a clump of several trees. He sat there now, leaning against one of the trees that grew against the boulder and stared out at the lake, letting his mind wander. He thought about the recruits that had finally started to become a competent regiment, after about a month of training. He thought about his father, about his brother Chen, about his mother that had died. He remembered how wise she was when she spoke. She'd had all kinds of expressions that she would use to teach him morals and the realities in life. Shang found that those expressions turned out to be true almost all of the time. He remembered how she had told him that very often first impressions were accurate, but then again, often they were not; and that it was important to get to know people before finally making decisions about them. That had certainly turned out to be true with his men. He'd thought they were all pathetic and hopeless, not thinking about the fact that he himself had trained all his life to be a military man; they had not so of course it wouldn't come that quickly to them. Then there was Ping. He had truly misjudged and underestimated Ping.

Shang started as he heard an eerie sound, and sat up, listening, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. There it was again. It sounded like crying. Shang shook his head, thinking that he must be hearing things. There was the sound of splashing and he saw a dark head in the middle of the lake. Some kind of animal. It must have been making the sound he had heard. Shang felt a shiver down his spine. It was such an odd, human sound.

He relaxed against the tree again, returning to his thoughts. He watched absent-mindedly as the animal swam toward the shore opposite camp and raised itself out of the water and onto the shore. Shang sat up and blinked in disbelief. The figure walked upright and it looked like a woman's figure. What would a woman be doing there, around the army camp? Was it a spirit? But he didn't have time to find out. The figure was only there for a second. It suddenly disappeared into the forest and he was left staring open-mouthed at the dark, empty shore, wondering if he had been hallucinating.


	4. Zhao

**Chapter 4: Zhao**

They had been training for almost five weeks now. Shortly Chi Fu would be sending a report to his father, and then it would take another week for his father to reply. They were just waiting now.

That week, one of the men, Kai-Feng, became very ill. Shang dispatched Chi Fu to the nearest village to find a medic. A tent was set up and Kai-Feng was brought there. Chi Fu returned with the medic finally, an old man, who went in and took care of the man. Shang waited outside of the tent. After several hours the medic came out of the tent and told Shang that Kai-Feng would be alright. The fever was breaking finally and he'd given him some droughts and told him that he just needed a lot of rest. He offered to stay for the next week to look after Kai-Feng until the infection was completely gone and he was up and around. Shang thanked him and invited him to sit with him in the main tent and have dinner.

"I heard those men address you as Captain Li. Are you the son of General Li Feng?" the old man asked then.

"Yes, I am."

"I am Wang Zhao."

Shang instantly recognized his name from his father. Wang Zhao was a medic, but he had also become a well-known soldier after he was recruited as a young man to serve in battle. Zhao began to talk to him. He knew many of the other warriors who fought with his father as well. He was pleased and gratified to see that General Li's own son had already been made a captain and was proving to be as promising as the general had been. Shang smiled broadly at such a compliment and thanked the venerable old man.

They had dinner in Shang's tent and talked.

"And what are you doing now, Captain?"

"The recruits have been training very hard for over a month now. They have shaped up to be a fine troop. They are ready for battle and as soon as the report goes out to my father we will be joining him at the front," Shang told him, proudly.

"I am sure you will bring him great honor. Your father has always been a fine, courageous soldier. It is an honor to know his son."

Zhao explained that he had met his father even before he had any title. Shang enjoyed hearing stories about his father when he was his own age. In addition, Zhao knew many of the other famous warriors that he had heard stories of and had admired all his life, and told him many stories of those men from when they were young, before they were known. Shang listened with fascination and wonder as Zhao told him first-hand stories of his own experiences in battle. Zhao had not been a soldier by career, and after his bout serving the Emperor, he left the army and continued to practice medicine.

"Who are some of the recruits?" Zhao asked after a short silence. "You must have several of the sons of the men I knew in your camp now."

"Well, I didn't recognize any of the names. Oh! Except Fa."

"Fa?"

"Yes, Fa Zhou's son."

Zhao shook his head. "He must be from another Fa family."

Shang was about to tell Zhao that he had Fa Zhou's conscription notice, but Zhao was still talking and Shang knew that he wasn't supposed to interrupt an elder.

"Fa Zhou has only one child. A daughter."

The chopsticks dropped out of Shang's hand.

"What?"


	5. Mulan

**Chapter 5: Mulan**

Shang gaped at Zhao in disbelief.

"Your soldier Fa must come from a different family with the same name," Zhao continued. "Fa Zhou has only one child, his daughter Mulan. But she is something else, I can tell you that."

Shang just kept staring at him, speechless, his mind reeling.

"She's sixteen. Very beautiful, but an oddball." Zhao looked at him. "You dropped your chopsticks."

"Huh?" Shang said, dazed.

Zhao picked up the chopsticks and handed them to Shang, who absent-mindedly took them from him.

"She does not act like other girls. She's actually very smart. Not one to keep quiet. She is already sixteen, but she's too much of a hand-full for a man to want to marry, unfortunately. Besides, I heard she set the matchmaker on fire when she went there," he chuckled as he mentioned the last part.

Zhao began talking about something else then, having exhausted the subject of Mulan as far as he was concerned.

Shang was overwhelmed with shock, anger and confusion. A daughter! Ping wasn't Ping? He was Mulan, a sixteen-year-old girl? Shang had read the conscription notice and it had definitely read Fa Zhou. It was not another Fa family. That explained a lot. The feminine quality he'd seen immediately in Ping, the weakness, the disastrous first weeks of training. He thought of her face, always looking dark and streaked with dirt…or something. She must have kept it that way on purpose so that they wouldn't be able to really see her face, see that she was a woman by her features. And that glimpse of the woman he'd seen at the lake that night. He hadn't been hallucinating and it hadn't been a spirit. It had to have been her!

She had lied to him, had completely deceived him. If Kai-Feng hadn't happened to get sick and Wang Zhao hadn't happened to be the medic who came he would still be in the dark about it. They'd all been fooled, but he was the captain. He should have seen something. Some captain he was. He couldn't believe it. This would never have happened to his father.

But why? What possible purpose could she have for doing this? It was against the law and was considered treason. Didn't she know that the penalty was death if she was caught? Why would she risk that? And they were preparing to go into battle! Did she really want to go to war and possibly get killed on the battlefield? Was she really that insane? And why had Fa Zhou allowed her to go?

"Is something wrong, Captain?" Zhao asked.

"Huh? Oh…no." Shang frowned.

"You seem to have something on your mind."

"I-I was just wondering…well, uh…what do you know about Fa Zhou? Now, I mean. Does he still fight?"

"No. He was wounded in his last battle. He is retired now."

Later that night, Shang wandered into the forest and down to the lake, deep in thought. He didn't know what he was going to do. He knew he couldn't tell Chi Fu about Mulan. Chi Fu was just looking for a reason to prove that he was unfit to be a captain. He had resented his father promoting him. There was no doubt that he would use this against him, as proof that he was unfit for the responsibility. Shang knew he was stymied. He had to keep this to himself. He had to make sure Chi Fu never found out. He had to make sure his men never found out or they would all take him for a fool. Just as _she_ had. Anger welled up inside of him again and he imagined himself grabbing her and strangling her. He was furious at her, for deceiving him, for making him feel as stupid as he felt now; and for putting him in the position he was now in.

And he'd almost gotten rid of her! He'd let her go that night after their hike in the mountains. She could have been on her way home and he could have been free of this problem before it started; but instead the stubborn little imp had turned around and climbed up to the arrow, proving after all that she could do something that no one else in the camp could. He had allowed her to stay. And she had turned around and had become his best soldier. A girl. He had never agreed with the idea that women shouldn't speak without permission or that they were all brainless. His mother had been educated, and she had been an intelligent woman who always had important, fascinating things to say to him. His father had told him that his mother was different from other women, that other women were inferior. He had also been taught to believe that women were weak, that they needed to be protected. He certainly never thought they belonged in the army. And yet, here was this small girl who was smarter than anyone and had made it through the army training. Not only that, she had become better than anyone in the camp. She was as good as any of the men.

He was going to have to confront her. He decided that he would talk to her and then make a decision as to what he would do with her. He had to find out why she had done this. He _was_ curious despite himself. Whatever it was it must have been important. He couldn't believe that she would do this just for the sake of making a fool of him or anyone else, or having fun at anyone's expense. He'd given her a way out, but she hadn't taken it. She had pushed herself and had found a way to stay. She must have had a reason to want to stay so badly.

His father had told him that being in command was not easy and that his first time training a group of men would be difficult. And it had been. But things had finally been looking up. He had succeeded. He'd whipped these undisciplined recruits into shape, even_ that girl_. They were ready for battle. They had finally turned into a competent regiment. The report would be going to his father shortly and they would be leaving to join him, something Shang had been dreaming about with anticipation. And now he'd discovered _her_.

He marched straight to her tent, yelling for _'Ping'_. She wasn't there.


	6. Part 2: Discoveries, The First Decision

**Part 2: Discoveries**

**Chapter 6: The First Decision**

Mulan sat on the shore, hugging her knees to her chest. The peace of the lake helped to calm her. Even though she was doing well in training and getting along with the other soldiers now, she still felt out of place and sad at times. Right now was one of those times and the feelings overwhelmed her. She felt like she was on a collision course, stuck on the path she had chosen. She was heartbroken over her family still. She still imagined in her mind's eye their reaction when they found out she was gone. They must have thought she was insane. Maybe they were more shamed and disgraced by her than they would have been if she'd stayed home and her father came.

Thinking of her captain's handsome face and of him had helped her get to sleep some nights when she was having trouble sleeping. But that was no longer helping. It was just making her feel more excited, restless, anxious and confused.

"I'm going to have to put more stuff on you to darken your face again if you're thinking of going in there. You just have to keep me working, don't you?"

Mulan jumped, startled out of her thoughts. Mushu had appeared out of nowhere. "Mushu, you scared me," she whispered.

"I wanted to tell you. The captain was outside the tent a little while ago, calling for you. He sounded…"

"Sounded what?"

"He sounded really angry."

"Uh-oh. What did I do now?"

"I don't know. What _did_ you do?"

"Nothing!"

"So, what were you crying about?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I saw you crying. What's wrong?"

She sighed. "What am I doing here, Mushu? I don't belong here anymore than I belong anywhere else."

"You're here because you wanted to save your father's life."

"I know. And I'm not regretting that."

"You're doing well in the training now. I thought you'd be happy."

"I am. The thing is, even if I survive this whole thing, I can probably never go home. How could my family ever take me back after this, after what I've done? And besides that…things are complicated."

"You like the handsome captain, that's part of what's complicated. And don't even try to deny it. I see you looking him over all the time."

"Not that it matters. I can never say anything about it."

"No, not unless you want his sword running through you."

Tears began to form in her eyes and a sob escaped from her mouth.

"Don't cry, Mulan. At least you have me watching over you. And look," Mushu said, pointing to a cricket that was sitting on his tail. "You've got a lucky cricket here."

"Oh, great," she muttered, sniffling and wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, "another lucky cricket."

"This cricket knows you. He's the one who convinced me to come after you."

"Oh, then he's the same lucky cricket. Well, tell him he owes me after what he did at the matchmaker's."

She was silent for a moment, then something he had said dawned on her.

"Wait, what do you mean he _convinced_ you to come? I thought you said…" She trailed off as she saw Mushu hang his head. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I lied to you. Your ancestors didn't send me. I'm just an immortal spirit who doesn't seem to belong either and can't do anything right. I used to be a guardian. But I wasn't a very good guardian. I was sent to help Fa Deng, and he ended up beheaded. I was demoted to gong-ringer. I was merely told to wake up the great stone dragon so he could go after you. But the stone dragon fell apart when I struck him to wake him up. Cri-Kee came to me and convinced me that I should go after you instead."

"I remember hearing about Deng."

"I was demoted because of Deng. You and me are alike; both misfits in our own way, we both don't do things right. But it's okay. Because we're good friends now."

She smiled warmly at him. "Yes, we are."

"And we'll see this through together. And maybe we can help each other."

Mulan nodded, still smiling. "Thanks, Mushu. I'm glad you're here."

**xxxxxxx**

Shang couldn't stop thinking about his conversation with Zhao and the new knowledge about Ping. Mulan. He had wanted to confront her earlier, to yank her out of her tent and yell at her, but she wasn't in her tent and he hadn't wanted to be seen hanging around there waiting for her. He didn't know where she was. He was ready to burst.

He decided to go to his spot in the forest and try to calm down a little. He wanted to be rational and focused when he spoke to her. As he approached the lake, he heard a voice. _Her_ voice.

"Nothing!"

He crept forward silently, staying hidden in the shadow of the trees. She was there, sitting on the shore, talking again to the stuffed red lizard she carried. He shook his head. Not only did he have a girl in his camp, he had a crazy girl that talked to a stuffed lizard.

There was silence for a moment.

"What?"

Silence again as she looked at the stuffed toy.

"What am I doing here, Mushu? I don't belong here anymore than I belong anywhere else."

Shang stood there in the shadow of the trees, forgetting his anger, hypnotized as he listened to her have an in-depth discussion with the stuffed toy. There were even long pauses where she must have been hearing it talk to her, punctuated with her responses. He felt compelled to keep listening to this.

"I know. And I'm not regretting that — I am. The thing is, even if I survive this whole thing, I can never go home. How could my family ever take me back after this, after what I've done? And besides that…things are complicated — Not that it matters. I can never say anything about it."

A sob escaped from her mouth.

"Oh, great," she muttered, after a minute, sniffling and wiping her tears away with the back of her hand, "another lucky cricket — Oh, then he's the same lucky cricket. Well, tell him he owes me after what he did at the matchmaker's — Wait, what do you mean he _convinced_ you to come? I thought you said — What? — I remember hearing about Deng — Yes, we are — Thanks, Mushu. I'm glad you're here."

Shang couldn't believe what he was witnessing. He noted that she was calling the toy Mushu. He remembered her saying that name when he had asked her what her name was the first day. He stepped out of the shadow of the trees and walked toward the lake, clearing his throat. She whirled around with a start, shoving the lizard into her pocket.

"Hello, sir," she said, standing up at attention and saluting him.

"_Ping_. Who are you talking to?"

"Uh, no one."

"Yourself?"

She didn't answer him. She just looked straight ahead, waiting for him to say whatever he had to say to her.

Shang glared at her furiously, remaining silent for a long time.

"Have I done something wrong, sir?" she asked, nervously.

"Have you, _Ping_?" Shang asked her, mockingly.

She stared at him, looking completely puzzled.

Shang folded his arms. Then he sighed, forcing himself to calm down a bit and sat down on the shore of the lake, gesturing for her to sit beside him. She obeyed.

"The doctor who treated Kai-Feng today," he began, keeping his voice as impassive as he could. "He knows your father. He had something very interesting to tell me."

She looked at him, mutely, and to his satisfaction he saw her body tensing up visibly. He wanted to make her nervous, to torture her, giving her the information little by little, making her squirm, until he finally came out and told her what he knew.

"He told me your father was wounded in his last battle."

"Yes, sir."

"Is that why you're here with his conscription notice, _Ping_?"

He glanced sideways at her, enjoying the scared expression in her eyes. Then he saw her suppress it. She turned to him and answered him.

"Yes, sir. I know I am younger and smaller than everyone here. But at least I am able-bodied," she answered, obviously trying to hide her nervousness.

"Did your father ask you to come in his place?"

"No."

"But you came anyway, _Mulan_."

He felt smug as he watched her cringe as her name rolled off his tongue. "I can explain," she answered, desperately. But she no longer looked afraid, and that enraged him. He wanted her to be afraid; if she had any sense at all she _should_ be afraid.

"Do you think I'm a fool? That I'm stupid?"

"No, sir," she answered, formally, as a soldier addressing a commanding officer.

"Are you crazy? You know I could and should kill you right here, right now!" he spat at her. "Don't you know the law and the punishment?"

She met his eyes, unflinching, and her retort to him was defiant, challenging.

"What are you waiting for? Why didn't you bring your sword with you?"

His mouth dropped open for a moment but he quickly regained his composure.

She spoke again before he could answer. "I knew what I was doing when I came here. And I've known all along that I could be caught at any moment and what would happen if I was caught. So, just get whatever you have to do over with."

"Why?" he shouted, angrily. "Why did you do this to me? Do you know what kind of position you've put me in?"

"Oh, please," she muttered, disdainfully. "How conceited are you to think for a moment that this is about you?"

Shang felt like strangling her. But he calmed himself, closing his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"Would you at least just tell me why you did this?"

"I did it to save my father. He is a very proud man. And he was going to come. But it would have been suicide. In fact, we had an argument about it the night I left. I saw him practicing his sword moves that night, moves that he had always performed so skillfully, artfully and gracefully. He is still graceful, but his leg was in so much pain he couldn't even stand or keep his grip on the sword and he dropped the sword and fell. If I had not taken the notice and come in his place, he would have reported here. I could not let him do that. He saved his regiment in his last battle. But in the process a cannon exploded and the structure he was in fell on him. He was seriously injured. They managed to save his leg, but he cannot walk well anymore. He needs a cane to walk, and even with the cane he has difficulty and is in pain. And he can no longer sit on a horse at all. He would have either been killed or sent home dishonored. I would rather die than let that happen to him."

Shang was silent, taken aback. Why had Fa Zhou received a conscription notice? If he was wounded that badly, he should not have been considered able-bodied and should never have been summoned back into the army. Especially when he was wounded saving his regiment and paying his due to the Emperor. Shang had his answer now. He now knew and understood why she had done this. He was still very angry and he felt betrayed by her deception; but he was also awed by her and he respected her for having the courage to make such a sacrifice to protect someone she loved. It was reckless and crazy, but he suddenly couldn't help but admire her. Things weren't as simple and clear-cut as he thought. He didn't know what he wanted to do. Her presence there was illegal, and if he didn't carry out his duty and uphold the law, he was just as guilty. He turned away from her and stared out at the lake.

He sighed. 'Why did it have to be my camp?' he thought, feeling miserable.

"Was there something else, sir?"

He turned back to her and stared at her for a moment. Then he shook his head and stood up, heading back toward camp and leaving her at the lake.

**xxxxxxx**

Mulan sat by the lake, pondering in complete confusion the conversation she'd just had with her captain. He knew who and what she was now. He'd been furious. And she had resigned herself to her fate and had actually spoken up to him. She had been in shock as the snide words had poured out of her mouth. She had called him conceited; she had never thought that about him, she had admired him, and she didn't even know where that remark came from. Or the challenge that she'd given him; _"What are you waiting for? Why didn't you bring your sword with you?"_

He hadn't done anything to her. At least not yet. He had been so enraged it was scary, yet he'd listened to her, then had just abruptly left her at the lake, leaving her feeling puzzled and unsure. She didn't know if he had decided to kill her at a later time, or not to kill her or what. He hadn't even told her to go home. Her stomach was in knots now. Maybe he was thinking about exactly what method he was going to use to kill her that would give him the most satisfaction. Then he would do it.

Mushu was there of course and had heard everything. He was silent now. They both knew it wasn't his fault and it wasn't her fault. It was merely a series of flukes that brought this about. A man got sick and a medic was fetched who happened to know her father and spilled everything. Neither of them could have foreseen this and there was nothing they could do but wait and see what happened.

"Well, until he does something, you might as well continue as you were," Mushu said. "Maybe you'll be lucky."

Mulan picked up the cricket that had tailed along with Mushu. "It's up to you. If ever there was a time to prove yourself, now is it."

She stood up and headed back to her tent.

**xxxxxxx**

Shang lay awake for hours that night, unable to stop thinking about the girl and about what she had just told him about her father. She was right, of course; if Fa Zhou had reported there, he most likely would have been sent off to the front, as he was an experienced soldier. Unable to ride or even to walk well, he would have been killed immediately. Or he would have been sent home in dishonor as soon as he reported because of his wound and the pain he was in.

Shang was beside himself with anger; he was angry at the law, angry at whatever idiot gave Fa Zhou a conscription notice when he shouldn't have received one, angry at himself for being so weak and angry at her for being where she wasn't supposed to be and for putting him in this position. He couldn't reveal her. Not only for himself and how Chi Fu would use it against him; but because he didn't want to reveal her after learning what he had. He knew she had broken the law and had deceived him and he was furious at her. But she had done it for a most selfless and noble reason; and of course, it had been necessary to do it the way she had _because_ of the law. In her own way she was doing something very honorable, even if it defied the rules. He thought about her words. "_I would rather die than let that happen to him."_ Shang truly didn't believe that she deserved to be punished for doing the only thing she felt she could to save her father from death; or worse, from dishonor. He knew he would do the same for his own father. He couldn't kill her. He sighed. He knew his father would be disappointed in the way he was handling this situation if he knew about it. His father would never be so soft, so weak.

He sighed. Maybe he would be lucky and she would get sick like Kai-Feng. Then he'd have an excuse to send her home; no one would ever need know the truth, problem solved. But he made up his mind that he wouldn't harm her and he would not reveal her to anyone else. He would let her continue as she was until there was an opportunity to inconspicuously get her out of camp and on her way home without raising any suspicion as to the truth.

Having made the decision, Shang finally began to feel sleepy and his thoughts drifted to when he was watching her at the lake. He thought detachedly about how he'd gone to confront her angrily but had found her talking to, and crying to, her stuffed animal and it had stopped him. It couldn't have been easy for her. Making the decision to come here, a woman alone among a bunch of rough men, going through the training, being bullied and tormented by him and by the other men. He had even blackened her eye. She had taken all of the torment silently, never uttering a word, never complaining, never crying – at least not in front of anyone. She had worked hard and bettered herself, had risen above the hostility and surpassed everyone under very difficult circumstances. He thought about the things he'd heard her saying to her little stuffed lizard and about the sob that had escaped from her. _"What am I doing here, Mushu? I don't belong here anymore than I belong anywhere else,"_ he remembered her saying.

"A young girl like her must be so lonely and sad being away from her family," he murmured, absently, drifting off to sleep.


	7. Secrets

**Chapter 7: Secrets**

Mulan lined up with the other soldiers first thing the next morning. The captain came out of his tent in a foul mood. His angry gaze went down the line of soldiers. It fell on her and he fixed her with a glare that could have burned a layer of skin off of her face. But she met his gaze bravely. She was very afraid, but she had already resigned herself to the fact that whatever was going to happen was going to happen. If the captain was going to give her a hard time now, then she would be prepared. She would not give up and go home, if that's what he was thinking, and she made up her mind that she would make sure she bested him at any power game he might try to play. And she would _never_ give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was afraid.

**xxxxxxx**

Shang found himself watching Mulan closely all day, seeing her differently now that he was aware of who and what she was. He watched her spar with one of the men during Kung-Fu practice. She was so swift and athletic and agile. She really had become an excellent little soldier. As angry as he was at her for completely turning his world upside down, he couldn't help but marvel at her in spite of himself. At the fact that such a small girl like that had proven herself to be as good a soldier as any of the men. She certainly was Fa Zhou's daughter and had apparently inherited her famous father's talents. She had the best aim of anyone in the camp in both archery and cannon practice. She ran faster. And she seemed to delight in the fact that she could do almost everything better than the others.

"Better than the men," he murmured to himself in wonder.

He scrutinized her face, trying to see the feminine features under whatever it was she used to obscure them and darken her skin. All he could see were her eyes. Her dark eyes were bright and mischievous, and her intelligence shone out through them.

Zhao had been right. She was exceptionally intelligent. She had to be to pass herself off so successfully. During the meals and breaks he watched her interact with the other soldiers. She really blended in with them now and had earned their friendship and respect. No one would guess the difference if they didn't know the truth. He tried to imagine her feminine form under the soldier's uniform, thinking about the brief glimpse he'd had that one night at the lake. The uniform hid her feminine form well; maybe she had something wrapped around her body to hide her curves as well. She was smarter than anyone in the camp, which is probably why she had excelled the way she had. He was furious at her, he utterly hated her for deceiving him and for putting him in this difficult situation. But he was also deeply impressed and fascinated with her.

**xxxxxxx**

Mulan found a high, large flat boulder on one side of the lake, which was hidden by a clump of trees. There were crannies and crags in the boulder that made it very easy to climb. She climbed up and perched herself there, and looked out over the water, thinking. She had wanted to be alone and had come to the lake that night to look for a secluded spot. Mushu was with her, but had agreed to stay quiet. The large boulder she had found was perfect, comfortable and hidden. It was a great lookout spot, and a great place to think. She decided that it would be her spot from now on.

It was now twenty-four hours since the captain had confronted her with his discovery at this lake. He hadn't said a word to her all day, but the glares he'd given her were beyond any he'd ever directed at Ping. Tension hung in the air between them like a heavy cloud and she could sense the pure hatred that he felt toward her now.

She sighed. She had resolved to continue as she had been and not be afraid. But her stomach had been in knots for the past twenty-four hours and the gnawing pain she felt seemed to be boring a hole into her abdomen.

She started at a sound that came from behind her, on the ground. She stiffened and turned around. Someone was climbing up the boulder. A moment later, the captain appeared.

He saw her and glowered at her, clearly disturbed by her presence there. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

She just stared at him, stunned. Poor Captain Li, she suddenly thought, somewhat amused. Not only had she infiltrated his army camp as a girl, she had also inadvertently invaded what was apparently his territory and had taken his spot away.

"I wanted to unwind," she answered.

He glared at her for a minute. Then he came forward and sat down beside her.

"I haven't told anyone about you. I'm not going to."

"Okay."

"Do you understand what kind of position you have put me in?"

"I didn't mean to," she muttered, feeling guilty. "I appreciate you sparing my life, though."

"I didn't do it for _you_," he snapped. "_I'm_ going to be in trouble if anyone finds out about this. _I'm_ going to be judged."

"Oh, well I'm really sorry, Captain!" she retorted, suddenly resentful that he was making _her_ feel guilty about his inaction. "I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation! But, you know what? I didn't ask you to spare my life. Whatever decision you made for yourself is exactly that. For yourself and because you want to protect yourself. So don't blame me for any situation you're in now." The words had just tumbled out of her.

"Mulan, what are you doing?" Mushu was muttering from under her collar. "Are you trying to provoke him into killing you?"

"Who do you think you are, to talk to me that way? In this camp, even though you don't _belong_ here, I am your commanding officer! And you are nothing but an inferior girl!" His tone was angry, sneering, nasty.

"Well, what are you so afraid of then? An inferior girl? That's what you're afraid of? Here, you have an opportunity right now." She leaped up and walked to the edge of the boulder. "Come on. You can push me right off of this boulder and say Ping was killed in an accident. No one ever need know."

His mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"Don't give me any tempting ideas, Mulan!" he retorted after a minute.

"Mulan, have you gone crazy?" Mushu whispered frantically in her ear. "Do you want to die?"

Mulan reached back and grabbed Mushu, holding his mouth closed and shutting him up.

Captain Li stood up and moved toward her. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she watched him approach, threateningly. From the look in his eyes she was sure that he _was_ going to push her over the edge. Mushu was moaning in her ear.

She was resolved to match him in the battle of wills no matter what. He seemed to realize that. He stopped just a few inches from her and stared at her. She stared back at him, feeling angry and, at the same time, oddly and exhilaratingly breathless and excited. He was so close to her, she could feel the heat from his body. She had never felt more alive than she felt in that moment.

"You should be at home, Mulan," he muttered. "You're a girl and you don't belong here. What are you going to do when we're sent off to battle?"

She didn't say a word; she merely answered him with her defiant look.

"Are you insane? You want to go to battle?"

"No. But if we're called to the front, I will go with my regiment and fight bravely."

"Mulan, you should be at home."

"Are you ordering me home, Captain? For what reason? I'm as good as any of the other soldiers now and you know it."

"I am strongly urging you to go home, Mulan. You could be killed."

"So? So could you and everyone else. And what do you care? If I get killed in battle your problem will be solved. And you can bury me before Chi Fu or anyone else finds out. But I won't give up and go home. If you make it an order, I will obey your order. But you will need a good reason or it will look suspicious to Chi Fu. And I will not let you make me give up and go home on my own."

He stood there and stared at her, speechless.

She saluted him, then lowered herself over the edge of the boulder to climb down.

"I'll leave you to your territory," she remarked, sarcastically, and lowered herself quickly before he could respond.

When she got to her tent, Mushu hopped out of her robe and began to scold her.

"Just what did you think you were doing back there? Are you trying to die?"

"No. But if I'm going to, I'd rather get it over with than have this guy play games with me because he's on some power trip about it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You didn't see what he looked like yesterday and today when we were having these arguments. I could see in his eyes and in his face how much enjoyment he was getting out of making me afraid. And I am not going to stand for him being on some power trip with me and I'm not going to spend the rest of my time here walking on eggshells and being afraid. If he is going to kill me, he should just do it. And if not, he should shut up and move on, and stop acting like he's doing me some big favor."

Mushu just buried himself under her blanket muttering something about Fa Deng.

"You never did tell me what happened with Fa Deng," she replied to his muttering.

"And I never will."

**xxxxxxx**

Shang slowly sat down on the boulder after Mulan had gone, his head spinning from the conversation he'd just had with her.

The girl was really too much. Never in his life had he ever imagined that a girl would talk to him the way she just did, whether he was captain or not. He knew he had been nasty and insulting to her. He had called her an inferior girl, and he knew that she wasn't. He knew she was smarter than anyone in camp, including him. But he felt that she deserved to be insulted. He had every right to be angry and every right to lash out at her.

But she…she was outrageous! Reckless and fearless. She did not seem to fear death at all. Since he had first revealed to her that he knew about her, she'd been challenging him, daring him to kill her! Was she nuts? Every word that came out of her mouth had been a challenge to him. If it had been a man talking this way to him, an officer, it would have been outrageous. But this tiny girl! It was scandalous for her to talk to _any_ man like this, yet alone an officer! He'd never seen anything like it in his life.

He hadn't been able to admit to her that part of the reason he had no intention of hurting her was because he admired and respected what she had done for her father. He had made it out that the only reason he'd spared her life was for his own benefit.

The next morning, Zhao came to Shang's tent. Kai-Feng was doing much better and he felt that it was alright for him to depart for his own home instead of staying the week. Shang thanked him and had one of the men that had come to camp on horseback escort Zhao back to his village. He didn't want Chi Fu riding with Zhao and run the risk of something being mentioned about 'Fa Zhou's son'.

Shang was greatly relieved that the only other person who knew the truth about Mulan was leaving the camp.

He went out and began the training for the day. He noted that once again Mulan was on time. She had always been the last to assemble in the morning; but for the past two days she'd been the first. The familiar wave of anger rose up inside of him as he looked at her. She looked at him, her eyes calm as they met his. Her calm but fierce challenge.

He kept himself removed from her. During Kung-Fu practice he paired her up with someone other than himself. He knew that she was better than everyone else and that he was the only one who would present any challenge to her at it. But he was afraid to let himself be so physically near her; to run the risk that his fury would completely overtake him and he would harm her with his bare hands.

They did not say another word to each other for the rest of the week. But he constantly found himself staring at her, whether they were training or not. Often the two of them ended up exchanging glances with each other and he felt like they had some sort of odd understanding between them, some connection. It was very strange and it would make him stop for a moment. Then he would become angry and force himself to try to shake it off.

**xxxxxxx**

Unable to sleep, Mulan had come to the boulder in the middle of the night to think again. She was sure she wouldn't run into Captain Li there now. It was a good thing, too. She didn't want him to feel like she was invading his territory again. She rolled her eyes at that thought.

Things felt as out of control as they had felt when she first came to Wu Zhong. They had been continuing to train all week. She and the captain never said a word again. But there was a constant, non-verbal battle of wills going on. She didn't like that. She preferred the face to face confrontations with him. In a strange way those arguments had excited her and had given her contact with him.

The weird thing was that at several times during the week she had caught him staring at her, watching her while she was training and during meals. He wasn't glaring at her, though. He seemed to be scrutinizing her body, her face. His stare was so intense at those times and he looked so faraway as he watched her. Eventually he would start out of it; that's when he _would_ look angry. And he would give her a look that made her feel as if a flash of white hot lightning had seared through her body.

She wouldn't mind him staring at her if he knew what she looked like as Mulan. But he had only ever seen her disguised as Ping, even though he now knew Ping was a girl.

She didn't know how she did it, but she got up the nerve to stare right back at him and study him too, taking in his handsome features. He was so lost in thought in those moments he didn't notice that she was returning his stare. She wished she could know what he was thinking about her when he stared like that. She could only guess that he was merely trying to see the woman underneath the 'Ping' disguise. That or still thinking about how he was going to kill her.

She never let him see how upset and tense she was. But she was extremely tense. And she was having trouble falling asleep every night again. And whereas before she found some comfort thinking about her captain's handsome face and about him, now all she saw in her mind were his angry glares and his hatred. One night she was so tense that Mushu made her lie on her stomach while he gave her a massage.

"I know you'd prefer to have Captain Li doing this," he quipped.

"That goes without saying, Mushu. But I don't think that's going to happen, unless he wants to do it before he chops my head off. Is there enough of that oil you've been darkening my face with left? Not that it matters anymore, probably, but if I can help it I don't want anyone else knowing."

"I have plenty of that stuff. But if you're so worried, don't go swimming every single night. Why you need to bathe that much is beyond me."

Mulan knew that she had been drawn to the captain the minute she got a glimpse of his physique when he took his shirt off on the first day of training. And that feeling had just gotten stronger and stronger as the weeks had gone by and she had become familiar with every one of his expressions and mannerisms.

Mulan heard the sound of branches crunching under footsteps a short while later. She peered through the trees down toward the path leading back to camp. A moment later the captain appeared. She stiffened, realizing he would probably come to the boulder. Even from the distance she was at she could see that he looked very unhappy. He sank down onto the shore, dropping his face into his hands. He just sat on the ground like that for a long time. She watched him, hardly able to breathe. As the weeks had gone by she had gotten to know every look that crossed his face, even the subtlest ones, had become familiar with every attitude and every detail of his posture. But she'd never seen him look so…defeated. Had she done this to him?

Mulan watched the captain, not daring to move. He lifted his head after a long time and stared out at the lake.

Mushu popped out of her robe. "What's he doing?"

Mulan didn't answer. She just motioned for him to be quiet. She didn't want to move or return to camp until Captain Li had gone, not wanting him to see her. But he just sat there for what seemed like an hour, staring at the lake, looking lost in thought.

After a long time he stood up and took off his robe, tossing it on a tree branch, and headed into the lake. Mulan sucked in her breath at the sight of him. His body was glorious.

"Don't you even think about it, missy."

"Think about what, Mushu?"

Mushu scowled at her. "You know exactly what I mean."

Mulan motioned for him to be quiet and went back to watching Captain Li. He stayed in the water for a long time, it seemed. But he finally got out and dressed, then disappeared up the path toward camp.

"Can we go now?" Mushu said.

"I want to wait until he is back in his tent. I don't want him to see me."

Mushu groaned.

"If you want to go sooner, why don't you go see where he went and let me know when it's safe?"

Mushu gave her a look, but obeyed.

Mulan climbed down from the boulder, stiff and achy from sitting there tensely for so long.

**xxxxxxx**

Several days passed. Chi Fu told Shang that he wanted to meet with him one evening after dinner, telling him cryptically that he'd finished his report for his father.

While the others were eating, Shang decided to go for a walk in the forest. He needed to be by himself for a while. He hadn't been sleeping thanks to a certain girl in his camp and he was exhausted. He also wanted to unwind and prepare himself for the ordeal of meeting with Chi Fu. He couldn't stand Chi Fu. The man was petty, annoying and obnoxious; a real worm. But Shang knew he had to tolerate him and do so with politeness. He was the Emperor's council and in reality he was in charge. Shang was the captain, but ultimately he answered to Chi Fu, who in turn answered to his father and to the Emperor.

He was a little bit unsettled at the thought of Chi Fu's report. He suspected that Chi Fu had taken down nothing but notes on everything that went wrong and probably hadn't written anything about how the troops had improved and were acting like an organized, efficient regiment now.

Shang walked around the lake to his spot on top of the secluded boulder. He lay on his back on the smooth surface, staring up at the sky, feeling weary. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Mulan for the past week. As much as he tried to ignore her, he found himself staring at her a lot. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't help himself either. He was so intrigued by her and he was constantly trying to figure her out. What had made her do this? He knew it was for her father; but this was so extreme. What had driven a young girl like her to do such an extreme thing? No other girl in the world would do something even remotely like it. What kind of a girl _was_ she? Maybe she really was insane; with good intentions, but insane nonetheless.

No matter what he was doing, she was always there in his mind now. His emotions had been in turmoil since his discovery of her, raging within him and tearing him apart. Rage, resentment, admiration, respect. He felt all of these emotions and others that he couldn't even explain toward her, and they alternated and mixed within him, confusing and confounding him and leaving him feeling lost. He was angry at himself as well as her. If his father knew about this he would be ashamed of him, getting so worked up and preoccupied over some crazy girl that had run away from home and joined the army dressed as a man. His father had always chided Shang when he was a boy that he had to be focused, self-controlled and disciplined, letting nothing distract him. And Shang had learned that lesson well. He had spent the last few years of his life concentrating solely on training, giving time and thought to nothing else, never allowing himself to lose his self-control, to be distracted. What would his father say if he knew that he had not taken care of this situation as the law demanded, had not even known the truth until he was hit over the head with it by Zhao? What would he say about Shang letting this slip of a girl distract him so? He would be disappointed in him, just as Shang was disappointed in himself.

Sometimes, as the days went on and he kept thinking about her, he would find himself grinning. He felt a sense of pleasure at being the only one who knew about her real identity. He realized that knowing her secret gave him power over her. His gratification would be short-lived as he then remembered how in thrall he still was to her; how much power she had over him now that his thoughts of her were beginning to consume him. He had become inexplicably, inextricably bonded to her all because of her secret and his knowledge of it. And he was helplessly and irresistibly drawn to her.

He felt miserable.

Shang was beginning to doze off as he lay there when the sound of a horse whinnying woke him. He sat up, blinking and shaking off the haze of sleep. He stood and walked to the edge of the boulder. He leaned against one of the trees and looked out toward the lake. He saw Mulan's horse Khan standing on the bank across the lake, drinking. A moment later she appeared, undressed and heading toward the water. Shang knew he probably should have looked away; but it was too late. He'd seen her and all he could do now was stare at her. He almost let out a moan from the longing he felt to touch her. He could see the difference between the normally exposed parts of skin that she had darkened and her real coloring. She wasn't full-figured like many women. She was slim, lithe and sleek. Lovely. There seemed to be a graceful arc to every curve of her body. He watched her as she walked to the lake, so graceful and light on her feet, like a cat. She waded toward the middle of the lake and lowered herself under the water. Shang sighed dreamily, watching as her head came up above the water. He watched her bathe. She had washed her face now and he could see that she had a very young, very pretty face. Her features were delicate and beautiful and her skin was so light and silky. She'd had to darken her face. If she had left it as is, no one would have ever thought she was a boy. And every soldier in camp including him would have fallen for her.

The sound of shouting and laughing interrupted Shang's reverie. A moment later Yao, Ling and Chien-Po came barreling down the path from camp, stripping and running into the water. Mulan! Shang began to panic. She had heard and seen the three others and was backing up, trying to hide behind a rock. The voices bantered back and forth, but he couldn't hear their words. Suddenly, Ling had grabbed her arm and was pulling her out toward the middle of the lake. Shang gasped, watching frantically, knowing he couldn't do anything but pray that they didn't notice what she was. She was keeping one arm crossed over her chest and she was managing to keep everything below her chin under the water. Suddenly, he heard one of the men yell, "Snake!" and saw the three men backing up and scrambling over one another to climb up onto a rock in the middle of the lake. He heard a whistle and saw Mulan backing up toward the shore. Then he saw Khan go charging into the water to protect his little mistress, probably in response to the whistle. She raised herself out of the water and ran to the shore, keeping Khan between herself and the men's line of vision, then she disappeared behind the trees. Shang sank back down onto the boulder, practically collapsing with relief. It took him a few moments to catch his breath and he found himself sweating; he'd been so worried about her being discovered.


	8. Departure

**Chapter 8: Departure**

"That was close!" Mulan exclaimed breathlessly as she ran out of the lake. Ling, Yao and Chien-Po had just come very close to finding out her secret. And she'd gotten a glimpse of Yao that she was sure she could have lived without and hoped to never see again.

"No, that was vile!" Mushu replied in disgust. "You see? I told you not to go swimming at this time of the night. Someone was bound to show up. What would have happened if I hadn't been here to bite Ling?"

"I thought they'd all be eating dinner. Besides, you were supposed to stand watch and _warn_ me. But I promise, from now on I'll only do it in the middle of the night." She began to giggle at the memory of Ling's expression on seeing the 'snake'. Who would have thought that tough men would be so scared of little Mushu? Or a snake.

**xxxxxxx**

Shang clenched his jaw, trying to control his temptation to punch out Chi Fu. He'd called him in to discuss his report to his father, which, as Shang had expected would be the case, contained nothing but everything that went wrong at the camp. Shang argued that there had been things that went wrong at first but they had gotten past them. The men were ready to fight.

"You think your troops are ready to fight?" Chi Fu mocked, snorting.

"They completed their training," Shang answered, trying to remain calm.

"Your troops are a bunch of trouble-makers and ruffians. All of those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be their captain. Once the general reads my report your troops will never see battle."

Shang stood up, angrily and grabbed the toad's slate, wishing it was his neck. "We're not finished."

Chi Fu pulled the slate away and sneered at him. "Careful, Captain. The general may be your father, but I am the Emperor's council. Oh, and by the way, I got that job on my own. You're dismissed."

Shang glared at him, then stormed out of the tent, hating the slimy man with every ounce of his being. Mulan was standing out there, her face darkened again, and Shang felt himself blush crimson at the sight of her.

"Hey," she greeted him.

Shang pushed past her and kept walking. He was fuming; and she was the last person that he had wanted around to hear Chi Fu insulting him, especially after the view he'd had of her at the lake just before. He didn't know why one thing had anything to do with the other, but somehow they were intertwined in his mind.

A moment later she called out, "For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain."

He stopped at that and started to turn toward her.

"For what it's worth," she repeated.

An involuntary half smile started to play around his lips. Then he turned away and continued to walk off. He reached his tent and turned back, looking off toward where she had been standing. A dreamy smile stayed on his lips as he thought of the sight of her at the lake.

Shang stood there daydreaming for several minutes, forgetting that he was angry at Chi Fu, forgetting that he was angry at her. Then he roused himself, turned and entered his tent, scolding himself for acting like such a fool.

**xxxxxxx**

Mulan gazed longingly after Shang as he walked away. He had started to smile when she spoke to him. He hadn't smiled at her in many days, always angry at her now. Always hating her.

"I saw that," said Mushu, pulling her from her reverie.

"Saw what?"

"You had just better stop looking at him like that. You're going to give yourself away to everyone else if you keep this up. Go to your tent," he ordered.

Mulan took one last wistful look toward where Shang had gone, noticing that she now thought of him by his first name. She would have to be careful that she didn't slip and call him that by accident. He was the captain and she was just a soldier; at least for now. She was not supposed to call him by his first name. She smiled as she turned and walked away. But she didn't return to her tent. She headed toward the forest and her special spot. Well, his special spot, too.

**xxxxxxx**

Shang was too angry and restless to stay in his tent. He hated Chi Fu. The man was so vindictive, so envious. And for that, he was refusing to send his father a favorable report about the troops. Shang knew his troops were a fine, excellent regiment now. Chi Fu's report was going to give his father the idea that, not only were the troops incompetent, but that he had not done his job and was inept. It was an out and out lie.

Shang walked toward the training field. Night had fallen and the field was dark, but it didn't matter. He needed to work out and let off steam.

He sat down on the grass and began to warm up. As he was stretching he caught sight of her. Mulan was strolling across the field, heading toward the forest. He watched her for a moment, then leaped up and hurried toward her. He followed her to the far side of the lake, then called after her.

She whirled around.

He caught up to her. "Mulan."

"What?"

"Mulan, I want to talk to you. That was a really stupid thing that you did before. Do you realize what might have happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about going into the lake when the other soldiers are around. Yao, Ling and Chien-Po almost discovered you!"

He saw her eyes widen. It hit him suddenly that she realized that he had _seen_ her - _really_ seen her. He felt his face turn red.

"You need to be careful," he said, softly, turning away from her, embarrassed.

"Thank you, Shang," she said, softly, "but I can take care of myself."

She'd called him by his first name. Not 'Captain' and not 'Sir'.

She turned and began to walk away from him, toward the boulder, but he reached out and grabbed her arm. He pulled her toward him, grasping both her shoulders. She stiffened in his grip, staring at him. He suddenly realized what he was doing and let go of her. She stared at him, still in shock.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, turning away from her, feeling ashamed. He didn't know what had come over him and he was afraid of himself. There was something so intimate and personal in the way she'd said his name and he'd already been thinking about her so much of the time now. He'd felt an overwhelming desire to pull her to him, to feel her body against his, to feel his lips on hers.

She still stood there, but he couldn't look at her.

'Mulan,' he pleaded desperately in his mind, 'please go home. Please. Leave this camp before you drive me insane.'

"Captain! Captain!"

Shang stiffened at Chi Fu's voice. Chi Fu came down the path toward them.

"Captain! Urgent news from the general! We're needed at the front!" Apparently, Chi Fu had forgotten everything he'd said to him earlier about the troops never seeing battle.

Shang's eyes widened. He headed toward camp, Chi Fu and Mulan following him. He summoned the entire troop and the soldiers assembled in the middle of the camp, Mulan joining the rest of them. Once they were lined up he announced to them that they had been called up to the front and ordered them to have their things packed and to be ready to move out first thing in the morning. He glanced down the line at the girl. She looked calm and prepared. She was apparently not afraid of the prospect of going into battle. But Shang was terrified for her. The front was no place for a young girl, whatever her training. This was madness. She was mad and she had obviously driven him mad as well that he had allowed all of this to go on. It was too late for her to leave camp now. And she was too stubborn to.

He realized that his troops were staring at him as if he had two heads, waiting for him to continue and probably wondering why he was staring so intensely at one soldier that they merely knew as a boy named Ping. He dismissed them and went to his own tent to prepare for their departure, pushing away with an effort the memory of what had just happened with Mulan before in the forest and resigning himself to the fact that she was going to be there, in the middle of the battle.


	9. The Front

**Chapter 9: The Front**

They spent the next week marching off to meet the rest of the troops. Mulan was at the back of the line, walking alongside Khan who was pulling the wagon with their supplies. Yao, Ling and Chien-Po were back there with her. On the night that they had almost discovered her in the lake they had apologized to her for being mean and had offered to start over and be friends. They had turned out to be good guys. They were light and funny and they loved to joke and laugh all the time. They were misfits like her so she felt comfortable with them; she knew she had nothing to prove to them and they didn't have any expectations of her. The reverse was just as true. Yao was gruff on the outside, but he was a softy inside. Ling was a prankster and a dreamer and all he wanted was to meet the perfect woman. And Chien-Po was just a sweetheart. His size was the equivalent of four people. But he was gentle and kind, and all he wanted was food and peace. She was having the time of her life pulling up the rear with them, playing and joking. In her entire life, she had never had friends that she could be like that with. The only living creature she'd ever been able to truly be herself with was Khan.

Shang was riding at the front of the troops on his stallion and Chi Fu followed him. Mulan was relieved to be all the way back where he couldn't see or hear her. She'd had an experience with him, too, on the last night at camp. He had seen when Yao, Ling and Chien-Po almost discovered her. He had suddenly seemed protective of her because of that. He had also apparently seen her in the flesh, judging by the dark crimson color that his face turned when they talked about it. She had ended the conversation and turned away from him to leave; but he had grabbed her and pulled her toward him. She had been so sure that he was going to embrace her and kiss her, she was waiting for it with anticipation. She had been prepared to have him right then and there, and it wouldn't have mattered if she died right after that. But he had stopped himself and let go of her, leaving her feeling confused and frustrated. And, once again, he told her to go home. That despicable Chi Fu showed up right after that and announced that the general had sent news for them to join him at the front.

Every day was spent on the move now. After sunset they stopped and made camp each night. Then they would be off early each morning, resuming their march toward the front where Shang's father was stationed.

**xxxxxxx**

They had been marching for another week now. Right now Mulan was listening to the other soldiers, humoring them as they bantered about the type of women they wanted to have. They all wanted beautiful but brainless women who would wait at home for them, cooking and sewing and keeping themselves pretty. She almost scoffed out loud at their talk. She didn't know why women would want to become that. She now knew for sure that she never wanted to be one of those women. It was just as well that she'd failed the matchmaker's test. But she listened to the men and laughed along with them. Then Yao and Ling put her on the spot, wanting to know what type of woman she wanted. She told them she wanted a woman with a brain who spoke her mind. They looked at her like she was nuts and she laughed at them. They were still laughing as they came around the bend. The sight that greeted them made them freeze in their tracks and their laughter stopped as if it had been cut off with a sword.

The entire village had been burned. There were some burnt out skeletons of structures left, and there was a bell that hung on one of the structures that kept bonging eerily in the wind. Shang ordered them to search for survivors. They all spread out and began to search the area. Mulan walked toward the end of what might have been a street and found a little doll lying in the snow. She picked the doll up and clutched it to her body sadly. Their enemy was cruel and without honor, just as her father had said when he'd talked about it. They did not discriminate between men or women or children. They killed for the sake of killing.

Shang was suddenly standing next to her. "I don't understand it. My father should have been here."

Mulan looked at him sadly. A thought crossed her mind about what might have happened to his father; but it was not her place to say it. She knew that he had not yet thought of it; or if he had, he could not make himself believe it yet.

Chi Fu started crying out for the captain and he turned and walked over to the edge of the ridge where Chi Fu was standing and pointing. Mulan and the other soldiers followed him, looking down into the valley. The sight was horrific. There was nobody left alive. The soldiers, the stallions, the villagers; they had all been killed. The stench of burning flesh hung sickeningly in the air. Bodies, bloody, broken and mutilated, covered the valley. She had never seen anything like it of course; and judging from the look on Shang's face, neither had he. This was his first battle, too. He looked shocked and horrified. Chien-Po handed Shang a helmet with fancy plumes on top. From the look on his face when he took it, she knew it belonged to his father, whose body lay out there among the rest of the bodies of the fallen soldiers.

She watched as one of the other men quietly handed him a sword. It must have also belonged to his father. Shang accepted it from him, then walked away from everyone. She watched as he quietly made a memorial to his father with his own sword and his father's helmet. He knelt on the ground and bowed before the memorial, praying. She approached him softly.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't much, but there weren't adequate words for a situation like this. She just wanted him to know that she felt for him.

He looked up and stood up, sheathing the sword that the soldier had given him, then turned to her. He didn't say anything. He just looked into her eyes and placed his hand on her shoulder for a moment, acknowledging her sympathy. Then he walked towards his horse. She watched him as he leaned on his horse for a moment, his eyes closed, his face tortured with grief. Then he pulled himself together and mounted his stallion, taking command again and being strong for his men. He told them that they had to get to the Imperial City to protect the Emperor and ordered them to move out.

Mulan placed the doll she had found at the base of the memorial he had made, knelt and said a quick prayer for the little girl and the other children and innocent civilians who had been killed, then stood and followed the troops, knowing that as long as she lived, the grisly scene would remain vividly in her memory.

They marched through the night. There was no time to lose. In the morning they were marching through a snow-covered valley. The valley was surrounded by mountains. They were moving along silently, when suddenly a cannon shot out of the cart that Khan was pulling. Everyone froze. Mulan turned back and scowled at Mushu, who was sitting there pointing at what looked like the cricket. So that's where the fire-breathing dragon had gone to; he'd gone and sat on top of the cannons. 'Real smart, Mushu,' she thought.

Shang rode back to her demanding to know what happened. What could she say? She quietly cringed as he began to reprimand her, lashing out at her fiercely. He was interrupted when an arrow hit him in the shoulder and knocked him off of his horse. Suddenly there was a swarm of arrows raining down on them. He yelled for them to get out of range as he pulled the arrow out of the armor protecting his shoulder. The soldiers began to bolt toward the protection of a cliff with an overhang, away from where the arrows were coming from. Mulan grabbed Khan, trying to pull him and the cart. A flaming arrow hit the cart and it caught fire. Shang shouted for them to save the cannons. The soldiers emptied the cart, passing the cannons down the line, saving most of them. Mulan swung her sword and freed Khan, who was jumping and whinnying hysterically, from the cart. She mounted him and began to ride him away as the cart exploded. The force of the explosion knocked her off Khan. She found herself lying in the snow, Mushu beside her. She pulled herself up slowly, stunned. Mushu made some remark, but she just grabbed him and ran to join the rest of her troops, Khan beside her.

One by one, in response to their captain's orders, they fired the cannons at the mountains where the arrows had been coming from. He ordered them to hold the last cannon. They stood absolutely still, watching the mountains and waiting for the smoke to clear. As the smoke cleared, the Hun army appeared at the top of the mountains, on three sides. The army of the enemy was huge and they were just a small band. Mulan looked at Shang and saw from his expression that he was shocked at the size of the enemy's army and at the predicament that they were in. He had made a mistake and she knew it; and she saw in his face that he had realized it too. The mistake his father had made, then he. They had both underestimated their enemy. That enemy was now charging down the mountains toward them from three directions. She watched as Shang masked the shock and the defeat in his face and turned to them, gallantly telling them to prepare to fight.

"If we die, we die with honor."

He looked at her then, meeting her eyes. She just nodded to him and drew her sword along with the others, thinking what a pointless thing it was. They were on foot; the entire Hun army was on horseback. A strange look filled with a myriad of emotions crossed Shang's face as he looked at her; then he looked away.

"Yao," he ordered, "aim the last cannon at Shan-Yu."

As Mulan held her sword out, she caught sight of the reflection of one of the mountain peaks over the valley in it and an idea came to her as she looked at the volume of snow that covered it. She realized what Shang was thinking; if he took out the leader, maybe it would discourage the rest of the Hun army. It was a good idea; but he was thinking too narrowly. What they needed was a more offensive plan; they needed to take out as many of the men in the Hun army as possible; so that even if they were killed themselves, which was going to inevitably happen now, no one was left alive to harm the Emperor and their country. She knew she would be acting without her commander's order, but she didn't care. She knew she was right and there was no time to explain it to him or anyone else. She sheathed her sword and dashed forward, knocking Yao out of the way and grabbing the last cannon.

"Hey! Ping!" Yao protested.

"Ping! Come back! Ping!" Shang was yelling.

She charged toward the oncoming Hun army with the cannon, her heart pounding in her chest. Shan-Yu was in the lead by several yards, galloping toward her. Mushu was riding on her shoulder as always.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Mulan," Mushu muttered.

She ignored him and kept running until she got to the spot where she could aim the cannon just right. Shang was running after her still, yelling for her to stop. She ignored him. She set the cannon in the snow and aimed it at the right spot on the mountain peak that she'd seen reflected in the sword. She tried to light the flint to set it off. But she was suddenly hit by Shan-Yu's falcon, and she fell over, losing the flint. She searched in the snow desperately for it, but to no avail. She looked up, seeing Shan-Yu galloping toward her, getting closer. She looked at Mushu, grabbed him, then aimed his mouth at the cannon, pulling his tail so that a stream of fire escaped from his mouth. The cannon was lit and she aimed it at the spot on the mountain. The cannon went off, sailing toward the spot that she'd aimed for.

"You missed him!" Mushu shouted, flying away on the cannon. "How could you miss him? He was three feet in front of you!" He read her mind half of the time, but he still hadn't understood her plan. The cannon sank into the mountain, exactly where she'd wanted it to and the blanket of snow on it was already tumbling down off the peak, down into the valley and onto the Hun army. She smirked at Shan-Yu, pleased with herself, and he turned back to look at his army, that was now getting buried under the avalanche of snow tumbling down on them.

"No!" she heard him yell. He let out a blood-curdling yowl and she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen as his sword swiped at her, knocking her backward and over. She clutched her stomach and pulled herself to her feet. The avalanche was rolling toward her quickly and she had to try to get away. She began to run, coming up to Shang who had stopped and was standing there gaping at the oncoming avalanche in a daze. She grabbed his hand and turned him around, pulling him into a run with her.

Khan came charging up to her through the snow and she mounted him. She rode up to Shang, who was still running. She reached her hand out to him. He grabbed it, but then the snow began to overtake him and he lost his grip on her hand. She gasped as the wave of snow sucked him under and away from her. She steered Khan and tried to find him, fighting against the snow that was more powerful than a tidal wave, searching frantically. She finally caught sight of Shang passed out, his limp body riding the wave of snow.

"Shang!" she cried out desperately, terrified that she was about to lose him forever.

She steered Khan toward him and when they had caught up to him, she leaned over, grabbed him and pulled him up. She draped his unconscious form over Khan in front of her so she could brace him against her with her legs if necessary. Then she began to steer Khan, trying to see where the rest of the troops had gone to take cover.

"Mulan!"

It was Mushu, riding the wave of snow on someone's shield.

"Look, I found the lucky cricket."

"We need help," she shouted over the roar of the snow. As she said it, an arrow with a thick rope tied to it came sailing over to them from the troops, landing in Mushu's hands. He handed it to her and she began to tie it securely around Khan as they were dragged perilously close to the edge of a cliff. Mushu jumped on Khan's back then, with the cricket.

Mulan used her legs to secure Shang against her and Khan on either side as they went over the cliff and shot the arrow up toward where she'd seen the arrow come from. Miraculously, someone caught it. Their freefall was stopped and they were hanging in mid-air. Then they were being pulled up to the top of the cliff. As soon as Khan stepped solidly onto the cliff, she cut the rope so he could walk away freely. She got off and knelt on the ground, weak and panting. The other soldiers had pulled Shang off of Khan and they had set him down on the ground beside her. He was starting to come to. He sat up and opened his eyes, turning to her, an incredulous expression on his face.

"Mu…Ping. I've never known anyone like you in my life! You are the craziest person I've ever met!"

She looked down at the ground, still panting.

"And for that, I owe you my life," he continued, his voice soft, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "From now on, you have my trust. And my respect."

She looked up at him and smiled. The other soldiers began to cheer for her and called her the bravest of them all.

Shang held out his hand and took hers, helping her to stand. He had that lopsided half-smile that she loved on his face as he looked at her. That's when she felt the sharp pain in her abdomen, where Shan-Yu had swiped her with his sword. She groaned and clutched at the pain, looking down and noticing that she had a huge blood stain soaking through her clothing, seeping all over her hand.

"What's wrong?" Shang exclaimed, alarmed.

She sank back down to her knees, trying to brace herself against the pain and removed her hand for him to see. The pain was so excruciating that convulsive shivers went through her body with each throb, as if she had a fever, and she was feeling very weak. She was suddenly lying in the snow and she saw Shang's handsome face over her.

"Oh, no, no. Hold on. Hold on…please…" she heard Shang saying; then she blacked out.


	10. More Decisions

**Chapter 10: More Decisions**

Shang carried Mulan into the tent that the men had set up. A couple of men had gone toward the Imperial City to find a village and a medic. He set her down on the blankets that had been put out. He knelt beside her, taking some material that wouldn't stick and pressing it to her wound to try to stop the bleeding. The others waited outside.

She opened her eyes and moaned. "Shang?"

"Ohh, Mulan," he murmured, stroking her cheek. "Why did you do this? Now everyone is going to find out about you and…and I-I don't know what I can do for you."

"It's okay," she croaked. Then she closed her eyes again.

He stared at her face. She looked like 'Ping', her skin darkened, her features obscured. But he knew what Mulan looked like underneath that now. He felt himself leaning toward her to kiss her.

There were sounds outside the tent and he immediately pulled himself up and turned as the tent flap opened and the medic walked in. The medic gestured for him to leave while he worked.

Shang paced back and forth outside of the tent, out of his mind with worry as he waited for the medic to come out. The sun was starting to set already. He was worried to distraction about Mulan. He could see that the wound from Shan-Yu's sword was a nasty one and she had lost a lot of blood. And he knew that the doctor treating her in there now knew her secret; and it was about to be revealed to everyone. He had to think of what to do when that happened, but he found himself incapable of rational thought.

He'd been unconscious after the snow had overtaken him. When he had regained consciousness he was safe on the cliff already, Mulan kneeling next to him; he had hardly been able to believe that he was still alive in that moment. Chien-Po told him about what had happened as they waited for news from the medic. How she had ridden Khan through the avalanche, looking for him. How she had found him and pulled him up onto Khan. He didn't know how a tiny girl like her had pulled a large man like him onto Khan, but he had already learned that she would never stop surprising him with the things that she did. He could expect anything from her yet he never knew what to expect. Chien-Po told him about how she had shot the arrow with the rope up to the soldiers at the top of the cliff so they could pull them up by the thick rope before they fell to their death. The girl was unbelievable. That she could even have the presence of mind to shoot the arrow to the men while they were free-falling to their death was a miracle. He wasn't sure he would have. She'd saved his life, all of their lives. She had saved all of China. And that was how he would justify not carrying out the law when she was revealed. He'd just lost his father from this world; he fought the wave of grief and bitterness that threatened to rise in him as he thought about that. He would not lose her from the world too.

The medic came out and Shang went over to him, dreading what was coming. The medic began to whisper and Shang had to bend down to hear him.

"The wound will heal. There was a lot of blood loss, but there was no internal damage and I administered some droughts. She needs to rest."

Shang cringed at the 'she' and straightened up, looking at the doctor. He nodded, obviously thinking that Shang had been shocked by the news. Shang turned abruptly and went into the tent. He wanted to see her, to talk to her once more before the others found out. She was lying there, wrapped in a blanket. The doctor had bathed her face, probably to bring down the fever from her wound, and the lovely face of the girl was as visible as day. He stared at her full, red lips and the flush in her cheeks from the fever, accentuated against the white of her skin. She opened her eyes and saw him.

"Are you okay?" she asked him as she sat up, smiling, the blanket dropping to reveal her bandaged torso.

His jaw dropped. He couldn't believe that she was still thinking of, still worried about him when she was the one who had been wounded; and was now going to be in even more trouble. She looked down, cringed and pulled the blanket up over her chest.

**xxxxxxx**

"It's over," she muttered as she saw Chi Fu come barging in.

"So, it's true!"

Shang folded his arms for a moment and looked at Chi Fu, his face stern and somber. Then he dropped his arms, turned and stormed out of the tent.

"Shang!" she called out desperately as he left the tent, frightened that he was leaving her alone with Chi Fu. She realized that she had forgotten herself, calling Shang by his first name in front of Chi Fu. But Chi Fu didn't seem to have noticed.

He stormed over to her and grabbed her arm, dragging her up from where she'd been laying. Frightened and ashamed at her state of undress, and still feeling a throbbing pain in her abdomen, she desperately clutched the blanket, holding it over her chest as he pulled her roughly out of the tent. She was covered only by her trousers and the bandage around her torso.

"I knew there was something wrong with you," Chi Fu snarled. He roughly pulled the tie out of her hair and her hair fell down around her face.

"A _woman_!" he sneered, as if the word 'woman' was the most despicable one in existence.

The other soldiers gasped and she could see the stunned looks on Chien-Po, Yao and Ling's faces.

"Treacherous snake." Chi Fu threw her onto the snowy ground. It was freezing out and she was barely dressed. She didn't dare move the blanket away to wrap it around herself. She shivered, trying to brace herself against the cold.

"My name is Mulan," she said defiantly and strongly to the company assembled, looking at Shang, who had his back to her, wondering what he was going to do now. "I did it to save my father."

Shang glanced back at her, a pained look in his eyes.

"High treason!" the sniveling rat shouted, his face in hers.

She ignored him disdainfully and spoke only to Shang and the others, her captain and the men who had been her friends. "I never meant for it to go this far."

"Ultimate dishonor!" Chi Fu continued.

"It was the only way."

"Hmph!" Chi Fu grunted, walking over to Shang. "Captain?"

Shang looked at Chi Fu. Then he walked over to Khan and pulled her sword out of its sheath. She heard Khan whinny hysterically as he turned and walked toward her with it. She felt her heart sink. She hoped it would be quick. He approached her and she looked up, meeting his eyes. He'd gone all this time without killing her even though he'd known. Was he really going to kill her now, just because of Chi Fu? She wanted to be brave, and she still desperately hoped he had come up with some other idea. He stood there for a long time looking down at her, his eyes narrowed in anger. Maybe it was just as well, she thought. What kind of future did she have anyway? She lowered her head, waiting for it to be finished.

Suddenly, the sword dropped to the snow in front of her. She looked at it, then she looked up at him.

"A life for a life. My debt is repaid," he said, his voice toneless, his face expressionless. He turned and moved toward his stallion, calling for the others to move out.

Chi Fu began to protest, but Shang grabbed him by the collar and practically lifted him off the ground. "I said, _move out_." He dropped Chi Fu and went to his horse.

Mulan remained crouched on the snow-covered ground, the blanket over her chest, looking down. Suddenly, someone was bending down in front of her. She looked up and found herself looking at Ling. She felt him put something around her shoulders. Another blanket.

"Thank you," she said, softly.

"Yao and Chien-Po are gathering some of the food to leave for you."

She thanked him again. Those three had really turned out to be decent men.

**xxxxxxx**

It was about two hours to the Imperial City from the Tung Shao Pass. Shang couldn't stop thinking about Mulan. The girl was incredible. He had never known anyone like her in his life. Intelligent, reckless, courageous. He still couldn't believe the stunt that she had pulled off in the mountains, and that a tiny little girl like that had defeated the entire Hun army with one brilliant move that turned the tide of an entire battle. When she had grabbed the cannon and ran he was sure she had lost her mind. But she was a genius. She was wild and insane, but a genius. He was amazed and awestruck by what she had done for him, too. She'd risked her life again coming to find him after he'd been swept up by the wave of snow, had thought of him as well as herself. It was such a selfless act; he couldn't help but admire her, once again. She'd been concerned about his well-being. He still couldn't fathom how she had managed to pull him out of the churning avalanche and onto her horse, a tiny little girl like that. She had proven herself braver than any of the men in the troop, including him.

When they had reached the burnt out village the night before he had ordered the soldiers to search for survivors and had gone to search himself. He had noticed Mulan standing in one spot. She had found a little girl's doll on the ground and she was clutching it against her body tightly. Shang had been touched and the anger toward her that had surfaced as he had listened to her banter lightly with the soldiers on the way there seemed to dissolve inside him. He had felt an overwhelming desire to go to her and comfort her. He rode up toward where she was standing and dismounted. But he had felt foolish and had realized that he didn't know what to say that would comfort her. He just stood beside her, speaking of his own confusion about why his father wasn't there. He hadn't even been able to see the reality of it in that moment. It just hadn't occurred to him. But she had given him a sad intense look, as if she knew something. Then Chi Fu had cried out for him and he'd gone to see what he was pointing at. He would never forget the sight that met his eyes. In his dreaming of honor and glory in battle he'd never imagined anything so shocking and grisly. He'd been so naïve and ignorant, without a clue about the realities of war. And he'd worried for her. This was nothing for a young girl like her to have seen; nobody should have had to see it. Then Chien-Po had brought him his father's helmet, sympathy in his eyes. Shang had been devastated. His father, his role model, a man who had been invincible to Shang, who had done great deeds of valor and honor; this was his end. He had made a soldier's memorial to his father with the helmet and his own sword that his father had presented to him that day at Wu Zhong. The last time he saw him. He had knelt before the memorial and prayed to his ancestors, blinking back the tears that were coming to his eyes. Then she was there. The words that she said, the sound of her voice, her presence; they comforted him. He had stood up and acknowledged her sympathy and her presence gratefully, and had found the strength to press on. His own father had taught him long ago to put his duty before his personal feelings. He knew they had to get to the Emperor to protect him. He could mourn his father later.

He had wanted so much to talk to her before they left her in the mountains like that. He wanted to tell her that he never had any intention of hurting her, from the time he'd found out about her from Zhao and that he would have done anything to prevent this from happening.

He hadn't had a chance to talk to her. Chi Fu had barged in on them in the tent. And once the vile man had dragged her outside and exposed her to everyone, there was no opportunity for Shang to talk to her without it looking strange and suspicious. This had been the best he could do for her and he was miserable about it. She looked so cold, so vulnerable, so sad and defeated. Chi Fu had treated her in such a disgusting manner. And he had let him. He hated himself for it. He hated himself for being so weak about everything. He hated himself for the way he had treated her. He hated Chi Fu for being so repulsive. And he hated Yao, Ling and Chien-Po, because they could talk to her and show her that they cared for her. They didn't even seem to be upset that she had deceived them, the way he had been. They didn't take it personally the way he had when he'd first found out. He'd noticed that Ling had put an extra blanket around her and had spoken to her. Yao and Chien-Po had gathered food to leave for her. And when he had been approaching her with the sword, pretending as if he would kill her for Chi Fu's benefit, it was those three men who stepped forward to stop him. They had been Ping's friends; and the discovery that Ping was a woman named Mulan instead didn't phase them. She had been their friend, and whatever she was, they respected her for who she was and remained loyal to her. They were not ashamed to show that they still respected her, to step forward and try to protect her. He himself had not been able to do anything. They were better men than he was and he knew that he never deserved the concern and care that she had showed him.

He would never see her again now. His heart ached at that thought. He was completely ashamed of himself for the way he had behaved to her all along, both when he thought she was Ping and after he knew she was Mulan. And he knew nothing would ever make it right.

"Don't think I won't tell the Emperor what you failed to do back there, Captain," Chi Fu said, suddenly, interrupting Shang's thoughts.

Shang closed his eyes, forcing himself to remain under control even though he wanted to punch Chi Fu out. He opened his eyes and glared at Chi Fu. But he remained silent. There wasn't anything that could be said that would get through to an idiot like him, other than obscenities.

**xxxxxxx**

Mulan let the tears fall as she sat in the snow, now dressed in the blood-stained soldier uniform. Her father's armor was in her pack, saddled on Khan. She was still shivering, though she had the two blankets, one that Ling had kindly left her, and she kept them wrapped around herself as she sat by the fire Mushu had started for her after the troops were out of sight. Khan had lowered himself to the ground, leaning against her to warm her as well. She was heartbroken. She had been shamefully revealed to all of the men. Shang had apparently made the decision not to kill her, but she wasn't so sure that was a good thing. She didn't know where she was going to go now. If she made it home, it was possible her family would not accept her back after what she had done, something that she had been worried about all along. She doubted herself and her own motives now, too. It had seemed so clear when she left home that she'd done it for her father; but now she wasn't sure why she had really done it. And now she had nothing. No future. Nothing but dishonor. Word would spread about her. She would be dishonored, her father would be dishonored, all of her ancestors would be dishonored. She would have been better off if Shang had killed her. To complicate everything further, she had been heart broken as she had watched the troops disappear down the mountain. Her heart ached as the thought repeated in her mind that she would never see Shang again.

"Well," she finally said. "I'm going to have to try to face my father sooner or later. Let's go home."

"Yeah," said Mushu, sighing. "It won't be pretty. But don't worry. Things will be okay. We started this together and that's how we'll finish it." He hugged her and she hugged him back, smiling wanly. "And at least the captain didn't kill you. That's something."

"You realize, Mushu, that you may end up being stuck roaming the earth aimlessly with me for my entire natural life if I'm not allowed back in my home."

"I know it. And I'm never going to be allowed back in the temple. You, me, Cri-Kee and Khan. Together forever."

She stood up and gathered all of her things together, saddling everything onto Khan. As she was doing this, she suddenly heard a loud howl from down in the valley. She went to the edge of the cliff and looked down. She saw Shan-Yu and a few other Huns down there. How could that be? How could they have survived the avalanche? They had been buried under the snow for hours! She gasped, then turned back to Khan. The city was brightly lit and was visible from where they were. She knew they would be heading there. She sheathed the sword that had been dropped in the snow by Shang and mounted Khan, turning him around toward the Imperial City. She had to warn Shang or someone there.

"Home is that way," said Mushu.

"I have to do something," she told him, defiantly.

"I know. I knew you were going to say that."

Mushu sighed, grabbing the cricket that was still hanging around and hopped onto Khan's back.

"Okay, let's go."

**xxxxxxx**

The news of the Hun defeat had traveled ahead of them quickly to the Imperial City, and a victory parade had already been organized.

The parade leader announced them as the heroes of China.

Shang was staring down somberly as he rode on his stallion behind Chi Fu, and his men were marching behind him, looking as depressed as he felt. They were staring at the ground also. Shang had wanted no part of this, but as captain of the troops he had to participate, reluctantly, knowing that the one who deserved the honor and glory wasn't even considered worthy of mentioning because of what she was. She'd been discarded, by their tradition, their society and by him. After everything she had done for them and for him. Only because she was a woman. He sighed sadly, feeling ashamed.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a trotting horse behind him and he sat up as he heard her voice.

"Shang."

She was riding beside him, wearing the bloody soldier's uniform, her hair down.

"Mulan?" he exclaimed, unable to keep the surprise and joy out of his voice at seeing her face again.

"The Huns are alive. They're in the city," she told him.

He realized that Chi Fu was right there and would see her. He had saved her life in the mountains; and now she was here and it would all be for nothing if she was seen.

"You don't belong here, Mulan. Go home." His voice came out harsher than he'd intended. He rode ahead of her, hoping she would take the hint and leave.

"Shang, I saw them in the mountains," she said, riding up on the other side of him. "You have to believe me."

"That's madness, Mulan. The Huns were buried under tons of snow. They couldn't possibly be alive."

She rode ahead and turned Khan so that they blocked his way. He had to stop his own stallion. "Why else would I come back?"

"Mulan, go home. You _will_ be killed here. Please listen to me this time and just get out of here."

"You said I had your trust and your respect, Shang. I know what I'm talking about."

Shang looked at her for a moment, then looked over at the crowd. Then he turned his horse and rode around her, continuing forward, hoping that his snub would make her leave.

"Keep your eyes open," he heard her say to the men behind him. "I know they're here." Then she rode off somewhere.

'Mulan,' he pleaded silently, 'Please leave. _Please_.' He knew that he would go out of his mind if anything happened to her.

The parade approached the platform at the top of one of the staircases in front of the palace, and the Emperor came down from the palace to meet them at the platform. The drummers ceased their drumming and the gong was rung. Chi Fu handed Shang Shan-Yu's sword. As the captain, Shang had to be the one to accept the victory of his troops. He remained numb, wanting to just get it over with and then hide somewhere. The Emperor made an announcement to the crowd about how they were safe thanks to the brave warriors. Shang cringed under the hypocrisy of the Emperor's compliment of them and knelt before him, holding out the sword.

"Your Majesty, I present to you the sword of Shan-Yu," he said, mechanically.

"I know what this means to you, Captain Li. Your father would have been very proud."

Shang forced himself to smile at him, knowing that his father would not be proud at all, then bowed his head lower, holding out the sword for him to take. Before the Emperor could take it, the falcon was suddenly there, grabbing the sword in its beak out of Shang's hands and flying it up to its owner, who was standing on the roof of the palace. Shang stood up, beginning to draw his sword.

Suddenly, men jumped out of the dragon float behind him. He turned, his sword drawn, and began to fight them, but they had caught him by surprise and knocked him down. He was stunned from the fall. He shook his head and looked up, seeing the Emperor's hat on the ground and realizing that the Huns had grabbed him. Shang leaped up and began to run after them.

"No!" he shouted, unable to believe that he'd let the Huns grab the Emperor when he was standing right there in front of him.

He ran up to the palace doors, but it was too late. They had already taken him inside and had shut the doors. Shang banged his fist on the door, then dropped his head on his arm, frustrated at his own stupidity and uselessness. She had been right and he had ignored her. He had treated her like a weak woman who wasn't supposed to have anything to say and should be invisible when he knew that she was anything but that. It was all his fault that this had happened. He heard Shan-Yu laughing from the roof.

His troops joined him and together they lifted up a large statue and tried to use it as a battering ram to break down the door. But it was to no avail.

There was suddenly a whistle behind them.

"Hey, guys. I have an idea," she said, and disappeared around the corner.

Chien-Po, Ling and Yao were beside him, on that side of the statue. They looked at each other then dropped the statue and ran after her. Shang stared at them in astonishment. He was left, standing there hesitantly and he realized that it was about time he started acting differently to her. He let go of the statue and followed the other three around the corner. If Mulan had an idea that was better than his, he was willing to go along with it.

When he got there he saw that somehow she had managed to obtain silk dresses, which she and the three men were dressed in, and they each had a fan. How she managed to find a dress that fit Chien-Po was beyond him. The three men looked ridiculous in dresses and women's makeup. But he immediately noticed how beautiful Mulan looked in the dress she was in; it was the first time he'd ever seen her dressed as a girl. She was not wearing make-up. She didn't need any. She and the three men were each standing before a column, their scarves wrapped around them, ready to shimmy up to the upper story just as they did for the arrow exercise. She had a plan, and she was already starting to carry it out, without him. He didn't blame her after the way he'd treated her in the parade. But he had to let her know, show her that he really did trust and respect her, and that he wanted to be part of whatever she was doing. He went over and tapped her on the shoulder. She whirled around, nervously, to see who was there. He looked at her reassuringly, taking his cape off and putting it around the column next to hers, giving her an expectant look and indicating that he was coming along. She smiled warmly. The five of them then climbed up to the second story and entered the palace.

She explained her plan. Dressed as concubines, the four of them would distract the guards. Once they had fallen the guards, Shang would run into the room they were guarding and fight Shan-Yu, protecting the Emperor. Shang waited while the 'concubines' went and flirted with the guards. The plan almost failed when one of the pieces of fruit in Ling's dress fell out; but they recovered themselves quickly and beat up the distracted Huns. He heard Mulan yell for him to go and he dashed out from behind the corner, his sword drawn, pushing past the others. As he past her, he noted that she had fallen one of the Hun guards and was using his bow to hold his head back. He dashed up the stairs to where Shan-Yu was holding the Emperor and intercepted his sword as it was about to strike the Emperor. As much training as Shang had and as good a fighter as he was, Shan-Yu was much larger and much more experienced in combat. It took every bit of Shang's strength and combat skill just to defend himself against him. Mulan, Chien-Po, Yao and Ling came up to the balcony then, and Mulan yelled for Chien-Po to get the Emperor. Shang saw that Chien-Po had followed her order and was over the ledge of the balcony with the Emperor, sliding to the safety of the ground with him on one of the ropes holding the decorative lanterns. Yao and Ling followed.

"No!" Shan-Yu yelled.

Shan-Yu slammed his head into Shang's in a fierce head-butt and everything went black. The next thing he was aware of was a small hand on his shoulder, shaking him. He opened his eyes and lifted himself up with her help. He saw Shan-Yu coming toward them with his sword, a wild, savage look in his eyes. Shang put his arm in front of Mulan, gesturing for her to move out of the way, and took out a knife. Mulan moved away as Shan-Yu approached. He knocked away Shang's knife, slapped him and grabbed him by the shirt collar, holding his sword to his throat.

"_You_ took away my victory!" he snarled.

Shang knew he was about to die, and he was prepared to do so, if only Mulan would just get away from there and be safe. But Mulan's shoe came flying at Shan-Yu's head, hitting him, and he turned to her. The shoe bounced back to her.

"No! _I_ did!" she said, defiantly. She pulled her hair back and gave him a smirk, looking at him defiantly.

Her face was light now and it took a full minute for Shan-Yu to make the connection. Then it dawned on him.

"The soldier from the mountains," he said in awe.

He threw Shang back on the ground and chased after her as she put her shoe back on and ran down the stairs off the balcony.

Shang sat up. He was still in a daze from the blow he'd received and he shook his head, trying to shake it off. He stood up and ran off in the direction where Mulan and Shan-Yu had gone. He went through the doors that led to the balcony and found the hallway in a shambles. Some of the supporting columns had been hacked up, and one of them had fallen and crashed through the outer wall of the palace. Where was she? He headed down to the front door of the palace and dashed out. People were pointing and looking up at the roof. Shang looked up and gasped.

There on the roof the tiny slip of a girl was facing the huge, hulking Shan-Yu alone. Wearing a dress. She had no sword. Shang watched as she whipped out a fan and not only disarmed Shan-Yu with it, but managed to get hold of his sword. She was threatening him with it. She was better than Shang now. Shang watched as she stabbed the sword into the roof and used it as a lever to swing her body around and kick him. She sweep-kicked him, then picked up his sword and plunged it into his cape, pinning him. The next thing he saw was Shan-Yu flying toward the fireworks tower propelled by a fire-rocket. How had she done that? She was gone now and the entire fireworks tower was exploding, the fire spreading to the roof of the palace. He looked around frantically for her and suddenly saw her sliding down one of the ropes of lanterns, toward the ground. He ran down the steps toward her to catch her. She dropped before he could get to her, landing on his back. He fell to the ground and looked to his right, seeing her on the ground beside him, smiling a sweet, proud smile. Then Shan-Yu's sword came down to the ground behind him with a clank. They both looked at the sword then at each other.

Shang stood up and held out his hand to help her up. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said, taking his hand. "You?"

He nodded, staring at her, feeling her hand in his; it seemed to fit in his so perfectly. He stood before her, feeling an overwhelming urge to scoop her up into his arms and kiss her.

But the ordeal wasn't over yet. Chi Fu came out of the palace sniveling about the trouble she'd caused. Yao, Ling and Chien-Po had come up to them, and Shang and the three of them moved to shield her. Shang stood in front of all of them as Chi Fu approached.

"Stand aside. That creature is not worth protecting."

"She's a hero," Shang snapped in Chi Fu's face.

"She's a woman. She'll never be worth anything."

Shang had had it with Chi Fu. He grabbed him by the shirt collar and began to lift him off the ground. "Listen, you pompous…"

"That is enough!"

Shang let go of Chi Fu and moved toward the Emperor, who was approaching.

"Your Majesty, I can explain," Shang began. He was ready to beg for her life.

The Emperor motioned for him to stand aside. He obeyed and moved aside, as did the other three men, leaving him a clear path to Mulan. She stepped forward bravely and bowed before him.

"I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan," he began. "You stole your father's armor. Ran away from home. Impersonated a soldier. Deceived your commanding officer…" Shang sucked in his breath and straightened up at that. The Emperor continued. "Dishonored the Chinese army, destroyed my palace, _and_…you have saved us all."

Shang blinked in disbelief as the Emperor bowed to Mulan. Chi Fu followed, dropping to the ground, prostrate. Shang smiled then proudly paid his homage to her, kneeling and bowing to the ground before her, along with Ling, Yao and Chien-Po. Everyone in the Imperial City bowed to her. The one who deserved it was getting the honor and acknowledgment finally.

When they had stood up again, the Emperor told Chi Fu to see to it that Mulan was made a member of his council. Shang was astonished to hear him say that, and was even more astonished when she turned him down.

"With all due respect, your Excellency, I think I've been away from home long enough."

The Emperor took off his pendant of the Emperors and put it around her neck. "Then take this, so your family will know what you have done for me. And this," he handed her the sword of Shan-Yu, "so the world will know what you have done for China."

She took the sword, looking it over, then beamed and threw her arms around him. The Emperor looked stunned, but then his face softened into a smile.

"Is she allowed to do that?" Yao asked.

Shang shrugged. He knew this girl would do it anyway even if she wasn't. She was that outrageous.

Mulan turned away from the Emperor and Yao, Ling and Chien-Po ran up to her. They embraced in a group hug, in which Chien-Po lifted them all off the ground. After he had set them back down, she moved away from them and started toward him.

Shang leaned toward her and started to open his arms, wanting to embrace her and tell her how much he cared for her. He couldn't bring himself to do it as he thought about how he'd treated her so much of the time that he'd known her. He found himself unable to speak.

"Um…you…"

She smiled at him, waiting for him to say something.

"You fight good," he said, patting her shoulder.

She looked disappointed. "Oh. Thank you." She walked past him and moved toward Khan.

Shang turned and stared after her, grunting at himself in disappointment.

He watched her as she mounted her steed, leaning forward. "Khan, let's go home."

He knew that what he'd said to her sounded so stupid. What he meant was that he was impressed with her, awed by her, at the fact that she was so brave, that she was a girl with more courage, more skill as a soldier than anyone he'd ever known. He loved her for that and for her incredible selflessness and for the fact that she was just a beautiful person. But it had come out all wrong and now she was on her horse riding away from him forever. She didn't even look back.

The Emperor, who had come to stand by his side as he sadly watched her riding out of his life forever, cleared his throat. Shang looked at him.

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."

"Sir?..." Shang said, dumbfounded, turning to face him.

The Emperor gave him an annoyed look.

"You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty!"

He gave Shang another stern look, put his hat back on and turned toward the palace, leaving Shang standing there. Shang turned back to gaze off in the direction where she had gone. He sighed as he thought about her. He remembered the morning he saw her dressed as Ping, sitting on top of the pole after she was the first one to retrieve the arrow, smirking at him in triumph. He remembered the vision of her in the lake. He remembered running after the lone figure in the mountains while she charged head-on toward the oncoming Hun army with a cannon. He'd been torturing himself over her ever since he knew who she was. He was in love with her. He didn't know when it had happened or how she had gone from being his worst enemy to being the girl he was crazy about and the only girl he could imagine himself being with. She was the most unique, courageous, intelligent person he'd ever met. And after the way he had treated her at camp, had left her in the mountains and after all of the other times he had treated her so badly he didn't believe he deserved her or that he could even dream of being with her.

Shang was still overwhelmed by the intense events of that day; the avalanche, the fight in the palace. It had all come and gone so quickly; he could hardly believe it had really happened. He stood there for a long time, staring off at the horizon where she'd disappeared, thinking about the events of the past couple of months as well. So much had happened; and he was just beginning to understand how much it had changed him.

"Captain."

Shang woke from his reverie, realizing that Chien-Po was talking to him.

Chien-Po handed him a helmet. "It's hers."

"Oh." Shang stared at the helmet.

"Well, what are you waiting for, pretty boy?" said Yao. He and Ling were standing there, smirking at him.

"Huh?"

"Go after her, stupid!" Yao growled. "And say something smarter than 'you fight good' to her."

Shang stared at them in shock.

Yao and Ling burst into laughter.

"I…I want to go after her," Shang stammered. "But after the way I treated her…"

"Captain, you should at least try," Chien-Po said, quietly. "Even the Emperor noticed and said something to you. If nothing else, you can return the helmet and thank her for saving all of us. And make peace with her."

"Do you know where she lives?"

They did know. And after several more minutes of scoffing and merciless teasing they finally told him where her village was.


	11. Coming Home

**Chapter 11: Coming Home**

Mulan camped overnight. It was not that long a ride home, but she wanted to ride during the day rather than overnight.

She lay awake that night, feeling anxious and upset. She would never see Shang again and it had made her sad. She was hoping he would have at least said something other than 'you fight good' to her. She'd never heard anything so idiotic, and she knew that he wasn't an idiot at all. At least he was safe and alive. She had cringed as she watched Shan-Yu slam his head into Shang's with such ferocity. It had knocked him completely senseless for several minutes and she'd been afraid for him.

She was very uneasy about the reaction she would get when she arrived home. Would her father take her back? Or had he disowned her, rejected her forever after what she had done? She would present the gifts from the Emperor to him; they were a symbol of how she had finally brought some honor to the family and maybe that would make up for what she'd done. Maybe he would forgive her and she could return to the family.

She felt that she understood her father a little better now. After she had seen that Shan-Yu and some of his men were still alive, she knew she had to go to the Imperial City to warn Shang or somebody. It could have meant her death; but it hadn't mattered. In that moment, she knew that many more lives other than her own were in danger and she knew she had to do something, no matter what might happen to her. She had the same feeling and intention when she had cut the rope on the balcony so that Shan-Yu couldn't get to the Emperor, even though that cut off her only escape from him. She also knew that she had to make sure that Shang was alright after the nasty blow he'd received from Shan Yu. All of those things gave her a new understanding of her father. She knew now that when he had stepped forward to take his conscription notice and to serve the Emperor despite his wound, he had the same motive; it was not just out of his own pride. She knew now that he understood that there were things that were more important than his own single life; he was thinking of others before himself. That was where the honor and glory of battle lay. Not in war, not in killing, but in serving your country and protecting the ones you love.

She left camp the next morning and rode to her village, reaching her home in the afternoon. She passed through the gate and put Khan in his stable. Then she headed through the gate toward the garden. She found her father in the garden, sitting on the stone bench under the magnolia tree where they had always sat together and talked. She was very nervous. She approached him, carrying the sword of Shan-Yu. He saw her and stood up.

"Mulan!" he exclaimed, looking shocked, as if he hadn't expected to see her again.

"Father!" She knelt on the ground before him and he sat back down. "I have brought you the sword of Shan-Yu." She handed it to him. "And the crest of the Emperor," she added, taking it off and placing it on top of the sword in his lap. "They're gifts. To honor the Fa family." She bent her head, waiting tensely, hoping that these symbols of their restored honor would please him and that he would still love her.

To her great shock, her father tossed the gifts aside on the ground. He dropped on his knees on the ground before her, throwing his arms around her. She began to cry as he told her that the greatest gift and honor was having her for a daughter.

"I've missed you so," he said, wiping her tears away.

"I've missed you, too, Baba."

It was a relief to feel his embrace again and to hug him. And to know that he loved her for who she was.


	12. Dinner

**Chapter 12: Dinner**

Shang arrived at the Fa home in the afternoon after stopping in town for directions and approached the two women who were standing at the gate.

"Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here?"

The two women stared at him then pointed without a word.

"Thank you." He walked past them and headed in the direction they had pointed.

"Woo, sign me up for the next war!" he heard the older woman quip.

He saw Fa Zhou and approached him confidently, beginning the speech he had planned.

"Honorable Fa Zhou, I…" he trailed off as Mulan appeared from behind him. She looked surprised to see him. "Mulan!" he exclaimed, stunned, forgetting everything he had been planning to say. "Uhh…you forgot your helmet…well, uh, actually, it's your helmet, isn't it?" he said, turning to Fa Zhou. "I mean…"

Mulan stepped forward and took the helmet from him. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked, warmly, smiling.

Shang smiled. Apparently it didn't bother her at all that he had turned into a blithering idiot in front of her.

"Would you like to stay forever?" he heard the older woman crack.

Shang turned toward her; he could see now where Mulan got her spiritedness. He turned back to Mulan, who smiled and shook her head at her grandmother.

"Dinner would be great," he answered, feeling more confident, still smiling as he looked into her face.

Fa Zhou stepped forward then, and Mulan handed him the helmet, introducing him to Shang. The two women approached them then, and Mulan introduced them as her mother and grandmother.

The grandmother looked him up and down then turned to Mulan. "Good work. You really know how to pick them, Mulan."

"Grandma!" Mulan's mother gasped and Shang felt his face turn bright red.

Mulan just laughed. Then she said, "I'll be right back. There is someone I have to thank."

She turned and headed up to the family shrine while Fa Zhou showed him around the garden. Mulan came out of the shrine several minutes later and joined them. They were called in to dinner shortly after that.

Dinner with the Fa family was enjoyable and comfortable, though there were some awkward moments for him. Fa Li and Grandma Fa bombarded Shang with questions. They wanted to know how Mulan got Shan-Yu's sword and the Emperor's crest, how she was in the training, how and when he'd found out she was a woman, why he'd spared her life. All of these questions were asked one after the other, so he didn't even have time to answer. The questions stopped and Shang sat stunned, not knowing where to begin. And he was afraid to answer some of the questions. Fa Zhou intervened, fortunately.

"Yes, we all have many questions. For now, let us just enjoy dinner and thank the ancestors that Mulan is home safe," Fa Zhou said. "And we thank you, Captain, for returning the helmet and honoring us with your presence here."

"How long are you planning to stay in town, Captain?" asked Grandma Fa.

"Oh, I…I may stay for a couple of nights in an inn. We've had many sleepless nights lately. I'm still quite tired," Shang said, shifting uncomfortably. He was embarrassed that his real motive for coming there was too obvious.

"We would be honored if you would stay here," Fa Zhou told him.

"Oh, thank you, I couldn't…"

Fa Zhou waved his hand at him. "We do not turn away a soldier of the Imperial Army. Especially the son of my friend General Li."

"You…were friends with my father?"

Fa Zhou nodded. "I served with him."

"He…he was killed in battle this time…" Shang told him, fighting back the lump that began to form in his throat.

Fa Zhou looked grief-stricken. After a minute he put a kind hand on Shang's shoulder and spoke. "I'm very sorry, my son. He died honorably, defending the Emperor."

"Yes, sir." Shang stared out the window, trying to maintain control over his emotions. He wasn't sure if he believed that anymore. He wondered if maybe his father had been too arrogant about his own strength and the strength of his army, just as Shang had been arrogant. But Fa Zhou was being kind and he accepted that. His gaze flitted back to the table and to Mulan, who sat across from him. She was watching him closely, concern in her face. He felt better as he gazed at her concerned look and at her lovely features. She really was beautiful. He respected and admired her; he always had, even before he'd really seen what she looked like, even before she'd done outstanding deeds of bravery. He'd been in love with her at least since that last night they were at Wu Zhong. He had just been too blinded by his anger and his own narrow views to admit it. He knew he'd acted badly to her far too often. He had to make it up to her. If nothing else, he at least had to bravely admit to her how he felt, no matter what her response.

"Captain?"

Shang turned to Fa Zhou, blushing, realizing he'd seen him staring at Mulan. "I'm sorry?"

"What will you be doing now?"

"Well, when I get home I…I will have to take care of my father's affairs, and my little brother and grandfather."

"How old is your little brother?" Grandma Fa asked.

"Chen is eight. My mother died five years ago. My grandfather took over caring for Chen when my father and I left for battle. But my grandfather is old and his health is failing. It is really up to me to be a father to Chen."

He spent the night in the Fa's guest room, hardly able to sleep knowing that she was so close by. He was disappointed that he'd never had a chance to be alone with Mulan, to talk to her. But he was hoping to do that in the morning.

In the morning Grandma Fa greeted him and told him that there was a festival in town for Mulan. Mulan had already gone to town with her mother and father; Grandma Fa had stayed behind to give Shang breakfast and talk to him. Mulan had told them all about her adventures and Shang realized that it meant she'd told them about him as well. About how he'd behaved to her. It hadn't seemed to make Grandma like him any less, though.

She invited Shang to the festival when he was finished with breakfast and they went into town together and joined Mulan and her parents. He noticed that she looked somewhat uncomfortable at the festival. He wondered what was wrong. The family greeted him warmly, and Mulan looked happy when she said hello to him at least. He walked with her and her family, gazing at her every once in awhile, wishing he could know what was troubling her.

Shang was puzzled as he watched Mulan interact with the townspeople. They seemed nice enough. They complimented her and praised her for her honorable deeds. But rather than look happy at their compliments or even flattered, she seemed to cringe under them.

**xxxxxxx**

After they returned from town, Shang went out to join Mulan in the garden, and found her sitting on a stone bench under a magnolia tree. The vision of her sitting under those blossoms was breath taking. He strode toward her and she looked up on hearing his footsteps.

"Mulan."

"Hello, Shang."

He sat on the bench beside her. "Mulan, are you alright? You looked so unhappy at the festival today. Weren't you enjoying yourself?"

"Not really."

"But it was a celebration for you. I thought you'd feel proud and happy."

Mulan shook her head. "I'm not like other girls, Shang."

"Oh, really?" Shang joked, trying to be light, to cheer her up. It didn't work.

"I never could do anything right," she said sadly.

"I can't believe that."

"It's true. I have always been considered a dishonorable daughter and a disgrace by these people. I failed the matchmaker's test. In the middle of the street, in front of the other villagers, she told me I was a disgrace and that I would never bring honor to my family."

"You've already brought the greatest honor to your family. And to China. You're the most brilliant, courageous, beautiful person I've ever known. You saved my life…twice. I never thanked you for that. And you saved China."

"I am just uncomfortable. Most of those people thought I was a disgrace before and now they're honoring me. A lot of it is false praise. And it's just hard to be home. I'm glad to be with my family again, but it's hard to be back here. I don't know what I'm going to do now."

Shang took her hands in his gently. She looked at her own hands in his, a surprised expression on her face, then looked at him. He wanted so much to embrace her.

"Mulan, I…" he began then trailed off, not knowing where to begin. "Mulan, I want you to know something. I never had any intention of hurting you. Even before I told you about what Zhao had revealed to me."

"You were so angry though."

"I felt betrayed. You had lied to me and deceived me. I felt like you had made a fool out of me. But I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know why you had done it. When you told me about your father and why you came…I understood. I admired and respected your bravery and your willingness to sacrifice yourself for your father. I would have done anything to save my father." His voice began to falter at that, but he regained his composure and continued. "I knew I couldn't harm you.

"And then, in the Tung Shao Pass…that was all for Chi Fu's benefit. I hated doing it and then leaving you there like that. And I hate that I let Chi Fu treat you the way he did. I'm sorry. I wanted so much to talk to you then, but there wasn't an opportunity. I was just hoping that you would at least go home and be safe. I'm sorry, Mulan. Please forgive me."

"I do forgive you, Shang. I did deceive you. I didn't mean to; I had to. But still. I'm sorry for that. Any other officer would have revealed me and executed me. You didn't. I'm very grateful. You spared my life twice. I will always be grateful for that."

They sat in silence for a few moments, their hands still clasped.

"I still don't understand why your father got a conscription notice."

"Because Chi Fu is an idiot. He decided that one man from every family had to serve and there was no room for interpretation for him. When I tried to explain about my father's wound, he told my father that he should teach me to not speak in a man's presence. It didn't matter what I had to say."

Shang groaned. "So it was Chi Fu who did it. I have never liked Chi Fu."

"With good reason."

"I really am sorry, Mulan. You wouldn't have had to deceive me if it wasn't for that law, and for…well, lots of things…I had no right to take it so personally…" he trailed off. "But you could have told me on your own, Mulan."

"Oh, that would have been a good move. I knew that I could be caught and executed, Shang, but I wasn't going out of my way to see that it happened."

"I wouldn't have hurt you."

"But I didn't know that. I didn't know you. Most men in this world act like Chi Fu. And then you stayed so angry at me."

"Mulan, it wasn't just that. I was angry at a lot of things. I was angry at you…but I was angry at myself, too."

She looked at him, puzzled.

He looked away from her, staring off into the distance, his heart thudding in his chest. "I was angry, but I also respected and admired you, I was fascinated. And then I…" He shifted, uncomfortably. Why was it still so hard for him to say it? He knew that if he went to the ends of the earth he would never find a girl like this and he had to make sure that he didn't let himself lose her again. He looked down at his hands that were still clasping hers tightly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I still can't…I want to continue to see you…I want to…well…I-I adore you, Mulan."

"Shang, I adore you, too. I always have. Even when you were being mean to me. It killed me when you were so angry at me and hated me so much."

"That didn't stop you from fighting back, though," he commented, smiling slightly. "I've never in my life had anyone talk to me with such defiance. Every minute you were challenging me."

"I know. I was a brat."

She grinned. Then a frown suddenly crossed her face.

"Shang, you know that I failed the matchmaker's test."

He smiled tenderly at her. "I don't care about the matchmaker's test, Mulan."

"But you are General Li's son. You deserve an honorable wife who is obedient and behaves the way she should. I would never make a good wife to anyone."

"You would make a fine wife for me. If it's what you want, Mulan," he added quickly.

She nodded. "It is."

They were silent for a few moments.

"I wonder if the Emperor will give you a title," he mused.

"He gave me his medallion and the sword. I don't need a title. Besides, I really don't deserve one."

"Sure you do. You should have been the captain, Mulan. You're better at strategy than I am. You're much more creative and insightful than me."

"Shang, you're a great captain. I couldn't have done the things I did without your training and leadership. I learned how to be a fighter from you."

"I know I can train others well. But once we went off to battle…I forgot everything that I should have known. I made the same mistake as my father and underestimated the enemy. And in the Tung Shao Pass, I led us right into the Huns' ambush. Even if that cannon hadn't gone off, they were there waiting..."

"Well, remember, you did have a distraction that kept you from thinking clearly."

He looked at her and smiled. "Yes, you certainly were a distraction."

To his great surprise, she suddenly leaned closer to him. Before he knew it she had leaned up and kissed him on the lips. He was stunned by her forwardness. But he responded, understanding that he had her permission, putting his arms around her and pulling her against him possessively, the way he'd wanted to that last night at Wu Zhong. He pressed his mouth against hers, parting her lips with his own. She whimpered softly and responded to him. He began to feel overwhelmed by the passion and he forced himself to pull away and let go of her.

"Mulan, we shouldn't do this yet," he muttered, breathlessly, "It isn't proper…for an unmarried man and woman. Besides, your father will kill me if he comes out and sees this."

"No. He'll just force you to stay forever," she quipped, leaning in and kissing his lips again.

He kissed her back, then put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he sighed, blissfully, feeling the weight of her against him.

"You already know now that he doesn't have to force me."

**xxxxxxx**

A/N: I know, sappy, sappy ending – but they had to get together. Story continues in the sequel 'Homecomings'.


End file.
